Survival for Adults Molested as Children

Who's running the show? Looking like an adult, talking like an adult, yet not necessarily thinking or behaving like an adult could be because our inner child parts have a way of making themselves known.

As children, many of us were traumatized by physical, emotional or sexual abuse by parents, other adults or siblings. We had no protection, no way of getting away, so we became fragmented into parts, which evolved to protect us, fight fires that were going on in our lives.

Even children who lived with wonderful, nurturing parents may have been through events such as a fire, death of a beloved pet, or something else that was difficult to cope with, and parts were born to help in those events.

These childhood parts never leave us, and are an integral part of our lives. It is important that we recognize them, accept them and embrace them. Our role is to be a nurturing parent to them and get to know what role they are playing in our lives.

Before I became involved in a support group, Adults Molested as Children (AMAC) I knew I had a lot of "kid" in me, fun-loving and hamming it up. I didn't know I had several inner child parts that were and still are, wreaking havoc in my life in some areas. How? When I blame myself for something over which I have no control, feel ashamed or guilty, when I succumb to addictions, overeat just to comfort myself, feel the sting of rejection or fail at something (being fired from jobs), my inner parts are just trying to protect me from real or imagined danger.

In the process of healing, I'm learning to accept all of my parts, giving them new jobs that are more appropriate in the present. Some parts are very young. They aren't capable of new jobs. They just need love, acceptance and assurance of their safety. It's important so that I can have better relationships with others, fulfill my higher potential and make better choices.

Instead of baring my soul to therapists for years and years (I wasn't taking their advice anyway), I'm taking action on my own behalf with the support I receive in AMAC. I'm becoming my own advocate - no longer a victim!

If I am reaching you, dear reader, you are probably already aware that the effect of childhood abuse on our personalities does not magically disappear. Even though the abuse took place many years ago, the effects linger.

Explaining the AMAC approach to healing in further depth would be too lengthy for the scope of this article. If you would like further information, you might want to check out the links and recommended reading material shown below.

Please note that not all AMAC groups use the principles described above (working with inner child parts).

For more information on this subject, here are some Internet resources:

Therapy for Adults Molested as Children, Beyond Survival. The original link for this book is no longer valid. However, the following link is for Amazon, with several books from which to choose. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Therapy+for+adults+molested+as+children%2C+beyond+survival&x=11&y=12

Connie Saindon, MA, MFCC, CT, has written an article depicting one victim's story.

http://www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/trauma/cmaadults.html