Survival Guide to Halloween in Athens, Ohio

The Halloween Block Party in Athens, Ohio is a pretty big deal. It's serious business when the town will shut down the streets leading into town early on Saturday and not reopen until everything is cleaned up on Sunday. The Athens Halloween Celebration typically starts at 7 p.m. on the Saturday that hovers closest to Halloween. Some of the students start partying earlier, usually around Thursday or Friday. Like I said, serious business. The streets of Athens are crowded with OU students and out of towners in every kind of costume imaginable. The lines for the tiny bars Uptown are usually long and not worth the time to stand in for an overpriced beer. The Police Department are all on horseback for the night. The dorms are loud, there's a party at every house within walking distance of the OU campus and Athens Uptown, and it's the only time you may see a zombie playing beer pong against Superman. The Athens Halloween Celebration is the ultimate party.

And if the Athens Halloween Party sounds crazy, that's because it is. I feel like I should get a badge or a certificate for surviving every Halloween I attended in Athens. It usually turns into a weird, crazy, too close to spending the night in jail kind of night. And that's without drinking too much. A Halloween night in Athens may be safer in the bars. Oh, but those shouldn't be reasons to not celebrate Halloween in Athens. I highly recommend it, actually. But first, some survival tips...

Athens Halloween Survival Tip: Stay Away From Second Story Windows
Whether you're at a house party or somewhere along the main street through Uptown, it's best to stay away from a second story window. It doesn't matter if you're in the house or outside of the house- do your best to keep away. There are many reports coming out of Athens about students falling to their deaths from a window. If you're outside, just don't stand under it. You don't want to get hit in the head with a glass bottle or anything else coming out of the window. Especially a couch... which leads me to my next tip.

Athens Halloween Survival Tip: A Couch That Is Outside Is Not A Good Thing
It might seem convenient that during the Halloween night bar crawl there is suddenly a couch outside. Awesome! A quick rest and then get back to drinking. Not a good idea. If it seems great, but just a little too convenient, that's because that couch is. A few things are going to happen here. The cops have been alerted to the couch coming out of a window (see first tip) and they're on the way with their horses and handcuffs. It's best not to be around when that happens. If the cops aren't on their way- they will be. Along with the fire department, because that couch is going to be set on fire. It's best to leave the couch where it is and watch from a safe place across the street.

Athens Halloween Survival Tip: Don't Drink Too Much
"Aww, man! What a way to ruin a PARTY, Amanda!" I know, I know. But there are some good reasons behind this. You don't want to end up in the "drunk tank". Because the "drunk tank" isn't located in Athens, it's located in Nelsonville. And no one is going to drive that far on Halloween night to come bail you out. Especially if they have been drinking too. Another good reason is that Athens and the OU campus are hard to navigate when inebriated. All the buildings are red brick and all the houses look the same- especially when it's dark and you're a little tipsy. Don't be that guy/girl passed out on the porch of a house that belongs to somebody you don't know. Besides, the steep cobblestone hills in Athens plus a few too many cocktails do not equal an easy walk home.

Athens Halloween Survival Tip: Watch Out For Puddles
If the weather has been nice the whole day, but for some reason there is a puddle in the street, don't go near it. It doesn't matter how drunk you are, just avoid it and don't splash in it because that last drink made you feel like a kid again. Really. I shouldn't have to say this. It didn't rain. It probably came from a human or one of the police horses. Don't go near it and hopefully you don't fall in it. There is a 99% chance that it is NOT water.

That's all I have for surviving the Athens Halloween Party. That's weird... I thought there were more to mention. It could possibly be that I don't really recall how I survived. Those Halloween nights do seem a little hazy. Ah, well, in any case- have fun and be safe.