Survival Skills for the American Upper Middle Class - Welcome to the Poor Club

Over the last several years, the middle class made friends with the poor and picked up some survival skills along the way. Those poor folks are survivalists, are they not? With the rising cost of gas, a lack of a decent health care program, and a slumping economy, the upper middle class should get to know the poor. It is a matter of survival. Here are the things you need to know:

Poor people in America quit worrying long ago about rising gas prices. It happened somewhere between our lapse in insurance coverage and $3.00 a gallon. If you can not afford to keep up your tags because your car insurance lapses every other month, then why worry about high gas prices?

Poor people of America use some old fashioned tactics to get by and deal with the high price of gas. We walk if it is inside of 10 miles. We run if it is inside of 2 miles. At 15 miles we ride our bike if we can afford one. If not, then we beg a ride, or ride the bus. Yes, upper middle class, the bus lines are still running except when you and your penthouse neighbors, the rich, cut our budgets to fund your new golf course or golden ashtrays.

The rising costs of food? Poor people in America are the best there is at teaching you how to eat cheaply, upper middle class folks.

How to fix "Oodles of Noodles" in sixty different variations is a favorite. How to keep leftovers fresh as the day they were made is another standby. How to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor until payday, and then actually pay it back is a regular skill that we teach. How to go out to eat like a poor person by spreading out a blanket in the back yard is a skill we learned from our grandparents.

Finally, upper middle class folks, the poor can teach you a thing or two about health care. Poor people have a wonderful door knob method of dealing with loose teeth. When the time comes for us to have a checkup, we stand in line at the clinic for hours so that our kids can actually afford regular health care.

What was that you said, upper middle class? What about preventative care? The poor simply have to laugh at the notion.

When you can not afford the cost of your current problems, how can you possibly consider the cost of one that comes later? We can teach you to think that way too, upper middle class folks. The poor can teach you all about pushing that cancer scare to the back of your mind and praying that God will cure it for them.

Welcome to the club, upper middle class. The lower middle class has adjusted well, and you will too. Make yourself comfortable, and stay awhile. It is not such a bad life.

You just have to get used to it.