Surviving a Breakup

Getting your heart broken is never an enjoyable milestone in anyone's life. You can help yourself get over the shock and sadness of a recent breakup by getting up, dusting yourself off, and putting yourself into action. Like any other part of you that may have ever been broken, like a bone, even hearts must take time to heal. Start off taking little steps. Stepping-stones are always good and remember that even the tiniest step is still a step in the right direction.

My steps in the right direction included taking long walks with only my Discman and some catchy tunes for company. The music lifted my spirits, spurred my feet on and helped keep gloomy thoughts at bay. I made some positive changes in my diet, including eating more fruit and I read lots of inspiring poetry aloud. I survived heartbreak and Heartbreak Hotel was no more!

The point of all of this is that you have to be good to yourself at all times but especially when you are feeling your bluest and at your lowest, and most vulnerable point. Don't cave into the pressure that the pain brings on. You are worth so much more than the total of your pain. Acknowledge that you have suffered a loss and then proceed, as gingerly as possible, to wade through the pain by bringing the focus of your life onto the areas that you have a certain degree of control over and also areas where you can assist yourself or others in having a better quality of life. Work with what you have going for you (which I have no doubt is quite a bit!).

So maybe the things I did will not be the things you will choose to do and that's fine. An idea is to start a project (or a mini project) that you have wanted to undertake for a while but could never seem to find the time and energy for - until now. Suggestions are household projects such as painting your kitchen and/or bathroom or sorting through the clutter in your basement. Take a careful look at your life, from the inside and the outside and locate the areas that need improvement and then start improving them!

Another idea is to do some volunteer work, perhaps at a woman's crisis center or a local food bank. If you love animals perhaps the animal shelter in your town needs caring people to help walk their dogs. Getting more involved in your community is an excellent way to take the emphasis off of your own suffering and put it into charitable works that aid others.

Enrolling in a class such as a computer class, a cooking class, a pottery class or a dance class is another way to bring light back into your life and to keep your mind from dwelling on what did not work in your life.

Whatever you do, don't wallow in the "what-ifs" of a relationship that wasn't meant to be if it didn't work out. Move past the blame and the self-pity by taking the negative feelings that you have welled up inside of you from the break up and turn them into positive energy that can be channeled into good works for yourself and others. And keep in mind that just as I survived, so too will you!