Surviving a Breakup During the Holidays

Everything is going great and the holidays are right around the corner. The unthinkable happens, you get in a fight a few days before the holidays and it is over. Holidays are a very depressing time for some people and it sucks to have to weather the holiday cheer that others try to inflict on you.

Breaking up is hard on everyone and it will take time to recover and be able to move forward. Many people will avoid breaking up before a holiday because they do not want to spend those times alone. It is never a good time for a breakup, but when it happens there is nothing you can do but deal with it. You can and will survive a breakup .Here are some tips to keep the light shining at the end of the tunnel:

1. Do not barricade yourself inside your apartment like a hermit crab. Get out and do something. Take a walk, go out to eat, take a trip to the library or bookstore. The more time you spend alone, the more you will dwell on your problems. Surviving a breakup is something everyone does from time to time.

2. Do not tell your family and friends if you can help it. They will find out eventually, of course, but you do not want to bring all this up right now. Everyone will be sympathetic and want to hear all about it but this will only dampen your holiday spirit. Well-meaning friends will want to give you advice for how to survive a breakup, they mean well but this is not a good time. You want to focus on spending time with your loved ones and enjoying good food and conversation. Take some time to catch up with someone you haven't seen for a while, it will take your mind of you and give you a peaceful distraction. This is not the first and won't be the last breakup you will have in your lifetime, but surviving a breakup will make you a stronger person. You will make better choices based on the lessons you learn along the way.

3. Your mind will keep trying to rationalize what happened and why, and what you could have done to stop it. But don't listen to this self-talk because if you couldn't make it work then it wasn't meant to be. There is a reason it is called a breakup, because it is broken. It isn't working the way it is supposed to no matter how many times you try to fix it. If it can't be fixed or isn't worth fixing (for certain reasons) then you need to get rid of it and move on. Surviving a breakup will make you a wiser person when the next relationship comes around. You will know what to look for and what to avoid.

4. Life is a lot like shopping, we see something we really want, we try it on with the hopes of buying it, but it really just isn't the right fit. We put it back on the rack and move on. It is harder to do this with hearts than it is with clothes. But this is the basic principle. To find love we have to put ourselves out there and risk rejection and heartache because that is the only way to find true love. Like the old saying, you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a prince. If you didn't you would settle for the first thing that came along and been miserable. That is no way to live. Living means taking risks and sometimes things don't always work out but you keep trying and eventually you will have success.

5. Keep yourself busy with things to do, offer to help cook so you can sit in on the family gossip. Moms love help in the kitchen as it gives them time to talk and discuss things.

6. During this time make no attempt to call or text your ex. You will be tempted, but don't do it. It will make you come across as desperate and makes getting over him that much harder. Cut off all communication. Do not answer his calls or emails. This is really hard because you will be thinking" what if he is calling to make up"? Number one, if he broke up with you right before a holiday, he is a jerk. And do you even want him back if he did? Ask yourself some honest questions, it will make this part easier to get through.