Surviving Colic

Colic. There I said it. The dreaded "C" word. A reality that no parent wants to face. Some experts don't like the term. These experts want to call it "fussy baby syndrome" or claim that you have a "high needs baby". But, let's be honest. It really doesn't matter what you call it when you are in the throes of it. That is where I find myself, having just survived a second child with colic (and I still have all my hair).

What is colic?

Experts don't really know. How is that for an answer? Some experts believe that it is terrible gas that the baby is "holding" on to. Some believe that these babies have an oversensitive nervous system and do not respond to stimulus well. They define colic as a baby that cries for over 3 hours a day at least 3 days a week. Usually those hours are continuous. But as for the cause, they disagree. Most babies that suffer from colic suffer the most in the evening. They scream, throw themselves about and pull their legs into their chest or stiffen their entire body. Colic is a condition that all babies that suffer from it, grow out of, but not without leaving a wake.

My story

Cadence Jade was born in December 2003, a week late. She would have stayed in there a lot longer had we not forced her out. She was induced, and then eventually born by c-section, weighing in at 9lbs 8 oz. I was thrilled to be a mother (still am), but I quickly became fatigued at all the crying, refusal to nurse, and the demon that had seemed to take over my daughter for 5 hours (yes count them 5 hours )each night, and another 2 hours in the morning. The pain that my daughter felt and the stress it caused were unbearable. There was nothing I could do but learn how to cope.

Jacob Douglas was born in October 2006. During the first two weeks, all he did was sleep. He slept so much that I became concerned there was something seriously wrong; he was so different from Cadence. I spoke too soon; at three weeks he began to show all the signs of colic, and I prepared myself for round 2, this time much more calm than the first time around. Today, I can say that the colic has subsided, and I am a two time survivor as a parent of "high need" children. How did I do it? Read below.

Mom (and Dad) tested tips for surviving colic

The first thing that you need to do when you suspect colic is take your infant to the doctor. Get any medical condition ruled out, simple or otherwise. Chances are, your infant is fine, "just" suffering from colic. The next thing that you need to understand is that none of this is your fault. You are not doing anything wrong. And as long as you are doing everything in your power to make the baby comfortable, you are a very good parent. Your baby's colic will get the best of you at times. When this happens, just take a step back from the baby, do not lose your cool, and PLEASE don't shake your child!

Now, when you are in the throes of an episode, try these tips. They have worked for me.

1.) Swaddle the baby. Tight. As tight as you can. Don't worry that baby has pulled his or her legs up to her chest or that you have essentially put your baby in a straight jacket. They really do like this. My children would always get themselves more upset when their arms were out there flailing about without control. I have read as an argument on many message boards that the babies don't like their arms bound in the blanket. Even though I don't know your baby, I can say that I thought the same thing. One day, I pulled Cadence's arms down by her side and swaddled her. She protested at first, but once tightly wound, stopped crying immediately. If you can get past the initial protesting phase, you will find that your child does like being swaddled.

2.) Run, don't walk, to Target or Dick's Sporting Goods and get a stability ball. Why are you still sitting here reading this? I said run! This one piece of equipment is a necessity for all parents as far as I am concerned. It is amazing the difference it makes. My daughter and son could both be so upset screaming to the point that sound isn't even coming out anymore (you know that type of cry). My husband or I would hold them close, cradle them in our arms, sit down on the ball and bounce up and down. Both of them would stop their fit like I had turned off a light.

3.) Wear your baby. Get a sling or a wrap and wear your baby around the house. You will have your hands free and the baby calms as he or she feels secure, warm, and close to your heart.

4.) Move. Walk. Dance. The motion helps to soothe them. It is similar to the weightlessness they felt in the womb. When you do this, it sometimes helps to carry the baby in a football hold with their abdomen against your forearm or high on your shoulder. I have found when there is a little bit of pressure on their abdomen, they tend to relax more.

5.) Shush loud directly in their ear. Or get a white noise machine, fan, air filter and run it (should be something loud). The louder they cry, the louder you get. Babies are use to very use to loud white noise as that is mostly what they heard as the blood rushed past the womb. Just be careful not to tense up when you do this. The babies will sense your tension.

6.) Go into a dark room. Babies get over stimulated. All of your efforts to calm the baby might be the problem. Let me say that I am not a fan of letting your baby "cry it out" in the typical sense. But sometimes a baby just needs to blow off steam. Babies need to cry sometimes; it helps them to deal with all the stress of the new world with its blinking lights, music, cold drafts, or hot sticky air. That is not to say that you shouldn't be there for your baby, hold him or her and be of comfort. Just don't try to stop the crying. This is a new concept to me with Jacob, and it has worked many times. One night, when he was particularly fussy, I felt all the tension in my body from desperately trying to get him soothed. A sudden calm came over me and a relaxed my muscles. I decided that I had to let the stress of trying to get him to stop crying go. I let him cry. I held him in my arms, close to me, rocked back and forth very slowly in the chair and stroked the top of his head while I was very gently talking to him. After a few minutes of crying, he gave it up. I found that he just needed to get it out of his system, that my effort as, were just agitating him more. The stress and tension I felt caused him to become more stressed himself. When I let it go, he did too.

7.) Feel your way. Take a deep breath. We all learn what is best for our baby. Try something different. You will learn what soothes your baby if you keep a clear head.

Colic is as hard on the parents as it is on the baby. The only difference is that the baby eventually collapses and we are left with a migraine, sore legs and butt from bouncing so much (even though now they more toned), and a hole in the rug that we burned from pacing all night. Don't try to be a hero and deal with this yourself. Call in for reinforcements occasionally, a good friend, a grandma or grandpa, an aunt or uncle. Someone who can walk the floor for a bit while you use the restroom, splash some cold water on your face, brush your teeth. Don't feel that this is a burden because, "who wants to deal with a crying baby?" People would like to help, and they don't have to live with the reality of colic 24/7. They get to go home after one evening of duty. It will, however, refresh you a little so that you are able to be the best parent you can be. Also don't feel like a failure. This is just a phase. It will pass, even though it might not seem like it. And trust me, it is no indication of future personality. My daughter is now one of the most laid back, considerate, and adventurous children that there are. Good luck. Use the tips wisely, and know that an end to these long days is near, and your baby's real personality will shine through.