Surviving with a Disability: My Life with Cerebral Palsy

I am disabled and have been for all of my life but that in no way means I am or like being dependent on others for my support and survival. I have always tried to do something on my own before even attempting to ask others to help me, and then I find it hard to do. Even opening a can manually frustrates me because I can't do it. And in most cases I would order out or go without if I were alone.
So when I got old enough and became eligible for government assistance, I thought why not maybe they can help me get on my feet or show me ways to do it. Wrong.

I have learned everyone has their own views on what independence and survival are. For us, those with disabilities, it's making it on our own and taking pride in knowing we can do it. We can earn that living, pay that bill or just get from place to place. And we all have different likes, dislikes, skills and abilities. And it's up to those put in charge to help us find what works for us and help us get there. Or that's what I thought.

I do understand there are a few who want others to "take care of them so they don't have to do it themselves" And for them that's fine. But I want to be able to know I can take care of myself and don't have to ask for help. I also like helping others be independent and learn to do something on their own. There is no greater feeling. But unfortunately for some it's all about the dollar.
Ever since I can remember, I have liked working, not just to earn that living, but to show I can be a vital part of society. And that makes me feel good. And each state is different.

In NV I had no problem getting government aide because I could not hold a job because of my disability. Now in another state I have to jump through hoops. And I refuse to do that. You can not judge one situation by all situations, and that's what seems to be happening. This is like throwing out the whole basket of apples because of one bad apple.

Looking at me and looking at my job history you can see that I have not kept a job for longer then a few months. In fact there was only one job I had longer then a few months. It was at a security company sitting at a command post monitoring traffic, phones and radios. The only reason I left that one was because I didn't see me going any farther in the company.
The job after that I was only at maybe two months because my ex was transferred. He worked for a company that required him to relocate when the company needs him elsewhere. That's another reason my job history isn't all that put together. I do have marketable skills, it's just finding someone to take a chance with me to see what a hard worker I can be when given the chance.

Since in this state I currently live in I have not had success finding work any where. All I get is, thank you for your interest in our company and we will keep your application on file. While that's all well and good, I am still not getting a pay check. Currently, my passions lie in helping and elderly people. Helping to give them a sense of independence, which currently, I am trying hard to establish for myself. My experience and training are as follows -disabled scouting rep, a personal care attendant, and hospice volunteer,

I have been taking care of disabled and elderly people for most of my life. So my fingers are crossed, that I will find something in that area. I have an interview with a woman this week regarding such a position. But that job lead is only 2 in six years of being here? The only reason I have survived this long is having an understanding room mate. Well now husband.

Anyway, back to what this title states. Now that I am in a state program called SRS, I have been enrolled in a class that helps you build self esteem and people skills which in turn helps you get out there and find a job. Something I desperately need. But as well as being in this class, I have a job coach who's either not available because she's out of town or has cancels appointments, but when she is there she is giving me job leads there's no possible way I can go to. Because I don't drive for one and would have to catch a bus at 5:45 am when it is still dark to go to the next county to wait for possible three or four hours before my shift even starts. And there are only two busses that run in that area, one going to and one coming back.

Now regarding this class, I would think that most employers look at attendance and whether you are there on time and ready to work when you get there. Well this class teaches that. Just by showing up and participating every day shows that you are consistent and are willing to be there when expected. Am I right? When you complete the full eight weeks that shows that you see things through and do not quit when something else or easier or better comes along. (Yes that's my opinion, and yes it is the job of this program/class to give you the skills to do. Personally I think it would look better to an employer that you see things to the end. But they insist you also apply for jobs while attending this program. If you find one you are to quit the program and go to work.

And that's why I have started my own business so I can market what I can do, what I enjoy doing, and what will bring in the money. So I take pay bills and take pride in what I can do, instead of setting myself up to fail at jobs I know I can't.

My job coach the other day told me we have to get you working because I don't get paid till you are working and have been at a job a steady amount of time. For the record she was unsuccessful in finding me work.

As for SSI when I applied in 2004, I was living with the same man that is now my husband, but back then he was a friend and room mate. .
Anyway, when I applied back in 2004,I was thinking everything was going according to plan when SSI began having numerous mishaps with paper work during the application process. First they lost my paperwork causing me to have to re-file everything and start over. Then they mailed it to the wrong place which took several months to retrieve and send to the office where I live. And finally several months and a Doctor's evaluation later, I was denied. The report said because I still had the use of one side of my body, I was employable.

I however have serious reservations about the doctor they sent me to because the Doctor who examined me was in a hurry to make another appointment when I finally arrived a few minutes late went to see him. His explanation, he was late for a golf game. Because of that he only asked me a few questions, examined my limbs, and that was the end of the exam. No tests, x-rays, MRI's, nothing. Now you are probably wondering what I based this on.

When I first applied during my first marriage they did tests to determine everything from eye sight, and motor skills to dexterities and brain functions. That was not even scheduled here. Before long I received a letter saying I was denied. Along with that, was a section saying if I want to appeal I had so many days to do it in.

That's when my search for an attorney began and before long I found one. After an initial consultation with her, she took my case saying I had a good chance of winning my appeal. She wanted me to see a doctor to get an updated check up. That's when I let her know of the doctors' visit I had when I went to SRS while waiting for social security to make up their mind. I told her that srs sent me to one as apart of their requirements and what they said. She said she wanted the name and address of the doctor and get those records.

According to him I qualified for help because I had a degenerative bone problem. It had originally started on my right side and was now affecting my left. So according to them, I didn't have cerebral palsy.

The attorney was busy collecting all the evidence, reports, doctors exams, and any thing else that was apart of me getting denied. I was then asked to record any thing that physically hurt or bothered me as I went through my day. I wrote everything down and gave it to her. During that time my hips and shoulder were beginning to bother me and I was not able to sit for very long nor could I lift anything.

Finally it was time to go to court and we entered a conference room where we spoke to a judge who was in another state hearing the case. While we were there I was clearly in pain and moving from a sitting position to a sitting one, which my attorney made the judge aware of. It was because of that reason I won the appeal.

On March 5th 2007, I married the man I was living with during the ssi process. When I went to report it to my case worker like I was support to do I was told I no longer qualified for SSI because he made too much money. Because of that we are right now, having to barrow from Paul to pay Peter. And it angers me. In this two income society that was my income, because SSI, thru the appeals process determined I was not able to work. Now we are one income short and struggling.

They say you must hit bottom before you bounce back, well I have hit mine and I am going to try and change as many laws as I can coming back up.