Surviving the First Mother's Day Without Your Mom

The first Mother's Day without your mother is not a pleasant experience. Whether you lost your mother nearly a year ago or just recently, this approaching holiday has no doubt been one that you are dreading, and, for many, it may be one you wonder how you'll make it through. Here are a few suggestions that might help make this day easier.

Most mothers want their children to be happy, not sad, and remembering the things that your mother did, especially when you were younger, to make an important day to you festive can hold a clue to how she might want you to celebrate this first Mother's Day without her.

If your mother had a number of special dishes she prepared for family and friends on holidays consider trying your hand at making one or several of those dishes in her honor. If you have siblings who live close by or who will be visiting during this time, you might want to make it a 'Pot Luck in Honor of Mother' event, one in which each sibling brings something that is reminiscent of those special times that were highlighted by your mother's special recipes. Since everyone doesn't necessarily cook, some may want to bring items that are reminders like red and white checkered table cloth if it's a picnic, or a particular type of wine that your mother enjoyed serving. The goal is to celebrate her and the beautiful memories she helped you, as a family, create.

Another way that you might honor her is by remembering others who may be missing her presence along with you. If she had served on a special committee at church, or was a volunteer at an outreach center, or had a favorite charity, doing something in her name that will be a reminder to those she cared about of her beautiful life, would be a means of keeping her memory fresh and vibrate. You might want to put together, in her honor, fruit baskets, or purchase a few small denomination gift cards that you can give out to the underprivileged, or host a small coffee and continental breakfast for others who might not have anyone to celebrate this Mother's Day with. The idea is to shine a light on the beautiful life your mother led and to allow those she touched to celebrate her life with you.

More private methods of spending this first Mother's Day without Mother is writing her a long letter in which you share with her all the things you would have shared with her had you been able to talk to her since she left. Choose a really special paper and a favorite pen and pour your heart out. When you are through, roll the paper up like a scroll, tie a beautiful piece of ribbon around it, and put it in a private place for safe keeping. You might want to make this a ritual that you'll repeat each Mother's Day in the future. Often times, after a while, you may want to retrieve your scroll and read its contents, but, for many, it is just a cathartic way of communicating your feelings, while honoring your loved one at the same time.

The first Mother's Day without mom is difficult, but finding extra special ways to honor her can help to ease that burden.