Try to stay with someone other than the family you're visiting when you're traveling. This will add expense, but it will also give you personal space that you might find you sorely need before and after the festivities. It'll also mean that you can arrive and leave when you want to. If you family is offended, let them know it's nothing personal (even if it is). If you're staying with a friend, tell them you're trying to spread your time among the people you want to see. If it's a hotel, tell them you're splurging for some quiet time.
Steer conversations where you're comfortable with them going. If there's a sensitive topic you don't want to breach, then make sure you bring things up that will fill conversations so you don't have to worry. Asking questions can help a lot, since people will often answer them and not ask their own in return if the subject isn't applicable to you. Try to not bring up things that are sensitive to other people in your family too. Maybe they'll notice and return the favor.
If you're going to have jet lag when you arrive, try to take an extra day to sync up and get used to the new time zone. It'll make you less irritable when you visit.
Get busy! If there are things to help with in the kitchen, that's a good way to help time pass and be helpful at the same time. People will rarely try to have serious conversation over moving chairs, setting up food, or washing dishes. A nap after the meal is a comfortable and warm way to spend an hour, as well.
If your family tends to be more difficult than mine, a last-ditch suggestion would be to be fashionably late and then beg tiredness (especially in the evening) and give hugs all around before leaving.
With these tricks, the holidays might be a little less stressful on you and your family. Just remember, they typically do mean for the best! Happy holidays!
Published by Recalcitrantem
Freelance writer making a living as a waitress. View profile
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