Surviving Life's Transitional Moments

The loss of a job, the death of a beloved family member, a marriage ends or a business closes. What do all of these things have in common? They are times of profound transition. To paraphrase an oft-used adage; these really are the times that try our souls. These situations are particularly trying. They can take an emotional toll that can lead some into the abyss of depression. How then do we survive these defining transitions?

Consider the Phoenix

Perhaps you are familiar with the story of the Phoenix. The Phoenix is a mythical bird that is consumed by fire only to be reborn. Ponder this plight. In order to be reborn and renewed the Phoenix must submit itself to the flames. Whether it does so willingly has never been part of the lore. However it builds a nest of myrrh and twigs which bursts into flames. Consumed to ashes a young Phoenix emerges. Consider how ghastly that must be. Relinquishing oneself to an all consuming fire in anticipation of an epic rebirth.

In ages past fire has been the tool of the refiner. Ore is subjected to the flames to remove the impurities. So it is when we are tried by the fires in our live. Sometimes we must go through the flames to come out of the other side.

Bearing in mind that the ore like the Phoenix can not be rendered new and pure without it's subjection to fire. So it is with us. When we encounter trials of any kind we should do so with the knowledge that the from the fires of change we are reborn and renewed.

The Importance of Grief

Grief is an important component of every type of loss. The passing away of a relationship or a long standing job can be as gut wrenching as an actual death. It's important to allow oneself the luxury of grief. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her definitive tome, "On Death and Dying" outlined the Stages of Grief. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. None of these stages are to be avoided but to be embraced. It is through the stages of grief we are able to reflect, remember, reassess and recollect.

It is through this recollection we are able to see how to proceed. Grief serves the purpose of slowing us down so that we can see where we are. So many of us are consumed with the minutiae of life but not the joy of living. The act of stopping to grieve can have the benefit of helping us to take back our joy. In Psalms 30:5 the Bible says "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Know that sadness is a part of the process. However, putting on a brave face and tamping down our grief serves no one.

The Only Constant is Change

For many of us change is to be looked upon with sadness and trepidation, but there are times when we must begin again. Many times the arduous act of beginning again is where the magic resides. We now have the opportunity to tell a new story. We must bear in mind that change is constant. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours and hours to days and sure as the sun, day gives way to night. Daily we to are in a state of flux. Time is constantly making small imperceptible changes to our insides and outsides. Hairs are lost and regrown. Each day old skin sloughs away to reveal new. We are templates of change. However, these changes are not to be feared but welcomed. Yes for many the changes are to be combated with the full faith of the plastic surgeon, but for numerous others, the changes are badges of a life well lived.

Even the Darkest Night Gives Way to Day

Who among us has not experienced a dark and long night of the soul where we lamented the loss of the light forever. Eventually we drifted off to sleep and before we knew it, dawn had broken on a new day. It is this way with whatever you may be facing. Regardless, how bleak the circumstances tomorrow is another day. It is a new day full of promise. We must open our eyes to the possibility. Look outward, at those who are less fortunate. For many of us who feel we have hit rock bottom, there is still someone who has to look up to see us.

Give What You Want to Get

Volunteering is the gift that gives back more than we put out. Looking at life from another's perspective helps us to understand where we are in the world. That is not the same as charitable giving. This is giving of our time and looking into the eyes of people for whom our worst days seem like a trip to Disneyland in comparison to their best days.

I f you want to recoup joy give joy. If it's happiness you seek share some with someone who has less than you.

Acknowledge Providence

I am a firm believer that there are no accidents. Everything happens for a reason. That is hard lesson for many of us. For myself, having lost so much the last year and a half; acknowledging providence came by way of hindsight. I found that sometimes loss is simply God's way of moving the trees so that we can see the forest..

Sources:

http://www.debramoorhead.com/blog/?p=196

Psalm 30:5 - Holy Bible

http://www.mythicalrealm.com/creatures/phoenix.html?