Surviving the Orlando Airport Experience

It's another sultry summer in Orlando and it's time for some much deserved recreation time. Now that the days are long and the kids are out of school it's time for the All-American Summer Vacation. Undoubtedly the high price of gas will be preclude many of us from road tripping this summer. And even though airfares are reflecting those obscene fuel costs, Americans will be taking to the skies in record numbers. Whether you're empty nesters out to do some sightseeing or if you're a child off to visit grandparents for a few weeks, I am here to guide you through the circus known as Orlando International Airport.

So you made it all the way to Orlando, spent your economic stimulus check and then some, now it's time for you to head to Orlando Airport for your return trip home. The first thing you want to do, and this may sound like a no-brainer, is make sure you have all your documentation. Keep that printed itinerary with you until after you return home. It's a real struggle for ticket counter agents to find a reservation when the passenger's name is misspelled or a travel agent lists the passengers first name as his last or the passenger shows up on the wrong day... you get my point. Not only will it help you get checked in efficiently it will ensure that you don't forget when your return flight home is. Also carry with you a government issued photo identification. That means a driver's license, passport, military ID, green card, etc. As lovely as they are, the debit card with your picture on it, your college student ID, and your wholesale warehouse club card do not count as valid forms of identification. In the event you lose your ID or it gets stolen (because a wise follower of my advice would never forget his or her identification) you may still fly. But keep in mind you will get the old pat-down by your taxpayer supported TSA agent. (TSA is the Transportation Security Administration, the government agency who handles all airport security screenings and confiscates your liquids.) One last note on documentation, if you're traveling on an old fashioned paper ticket be sure you don't misplace it. If you are using a paper ticket and you lose it your airline will charge you all over again. And they don't budge from their lost ticket policies. Have you ever tried to get into a movie or sporting event without a ticket? You get my point.

They have a saying in the airline industry which goes "If you're on time you're late". Heed that tip. Orlando is a vacation destination. People come from all parts of the globe to see Mickey. This makes for a very congested airport. Orlando International is jam packed with vacationing moms and dads and their infinite hordes of children. They all pack more baggage than they can carry and are additionally bogged down by car seats, strollers, diaper bags, and so forth. Be prepared to wait in line behind these slow moving processions. Sometimes the recommended 90 minutes isn't enough to make your flight. If you're traveling on a Saturday or Sunday you might want to arrive up to three hours ahead of time because in addition to the regular crowds, these are the two days of the week that the cruise ships return to port, then all the passengers arrive at the airport to return to their homes.

Check with your hotel to see if they have remote baggage check-in. Many Orlando resorts have agreements with airlines to check bags in for their customers. That will save you a decent amount of blood, sweat and tears hauling all your souvenirs all over the place. Also, be sure to make use of your hotel's boarding pass kiosk. Print your boarding passes before you leave the hotel to try and ward off an airline oversale (when they sell more tickets than there are seats, leaving you stranded in some circumstances with no boarding pass).

No doubt, since this will probably be your return flight home, you've already encountered TSA's 3-1-1 rule. That means you may not carry any liquids, gels, or aerosols in containers larger than 3 ounces through security checkpoint. You can have as many 3 ounce containers as you'd like as long as they fit into one quart size ziptop bag, one bag per customer, and they must be removed from your luggage. If you have water bottles, big bottles of shampoo, a venti frappucino, toothpaste, TSA will make you discard all these things before going through the checkpoint. The 3-1-1 rule is not new so throwing a tantrum on the TSA agent who confiscates your goods is ill advised. The people behind you in line just want to get through, don't add extra delays by preventing them from making it to their gates on time. Also, yelling at the guy "just doing his job" doesn't really set a good example for your kids, does it?

Additionally, the security checkpoint in Orlando has divided their screening lanes into three categories. Like a ski resort, there are green circle lanes for people traveling with kids or passengers with disabilities, blue square lanes for casual travelers who know the drill with carryon limits and liquids but might still feel intimidated by the airport process, and black diamond lanes for expert travelers. These are for business travelers who fly a lot and carry maybe just one bag or briefcase. Be sure to pick out the right lane for the most efficient way through security.

Once you get to the gate, relax. Take a seat. The hard work is over. All that's left to do is get onboard and snooze your way home.