Surviving Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

Last year I faced my first Valentine's Day alone after my husband passed just more than three months prior. February 3 was our wedding anniversary which was one hit, and Valentine's Day came shortly after causing an excruciating blow by blow. I had no ambition to celebrate the holiday at all, but rather than choose to ignore it, I banded together my single girlfriends for an anti-Valentine's Day.

While I understood the "cute" holiday as a great day to remind myself of the importance of my companion, without having mine by my side, it became yet another reminder of what I had lost. I did not want to anti-celebrate in a cliche way, but instead, to have fun, and let loose with other singles.

We chose an unlikely place to find couples: a local dive bar with great food. We invited our boisterous, and entertaining, single male friends of whom there was no romantic interest. We drank. We ate. We laughed. We celebrated singlehood, as much as it pained me to that first year.

For anyone being single over such an in-your-face holiday of what you have not, it is not an easy holiday to embrace. Choosing an anti-holiday setting may just give you the release you need, and a celebration you need more.

Friends are so important over painful times such as these. Pick a few close friends who can relate and understand your journey, and most important, are also single. It may be hard to do, but you can guarantee that they need a night out as well.

Pick a place where you will not be surrounding by lovey dovey couples, or cupid arrows being thrown all over. Dive bars work great, and some local places may even be throwing an anti-Valentine's Day Party. Here in Lancaster, Pa, Brendee's Pub on W. Lemon Street is throwing one this year and it is sure to be packed. If you do not have a good location that will be couple-less, opt to stay in or do something unique.

Be comfortable-part of the Valentine's Day hubbub is to get dressed up for a fine occasion. This is a single's time to shine in all your sweatpants glory. Unless you're planning to go on an anti-Valentine's Day celebration to go home with a new Valentine at the end of the night, make this your chance to go out not caring how you look. Baseball hats, sans makeup, don't shave, be comfortable, embrace your beer gut. Let it all out: it's part of the 'anti-Valentine' philosophy.

Love yourself for the night instead of your former Valentine. It's hard to let go of the past, whether it be a broken relationship, the loss of a loved one, or just being stuck in singledom-either scenario considered, it is time to celebrate you for a night that is not your birthday. Order the wine, and the dessert, or the beer, and the bratwurst. Garlic loaded? Why not?

I am still undecided on this year's anti-Valentine's day plans, but either way, I plan to acknowledge the anti-holiday in my own way. Either alone or with singles, it will be a day for me to be me, and for me to finally be OK with that.