Sustaining a Healthy Relationship

How do lovers stay lovers? After the honey moon wears off how do you turn it back on? The day you met your signifigant other you were simply two people who enjoyed each other's company. Now, you're sharing more
than a bed, more than romantic fantasies. Responsibilities, one would think should be easier to manage
once you're no longer on your own. Not so.

However slowly or quickly, you began to add decimals so to speak to the equation. Rings and things. A wedding
if you've gotten that far yet. Mortage or rent reguardless of whether or not you're legally married. You've gone from
having your own bank account to perhaps a shared account. If enough money isn't made it's not just one person
who will be evicted. When children are added into the mix money means more than you ever thought it could.
Babysitter? I'm kidding right? Vacation on the island of happy cast aways; just the two of you? Funny right?

Many people dream of settling down with children, a white picked fence, a loving mate and a dog named Fido.
What happens when the children require more time, money and attention than may be availabe? That white
picked fence needs a touch up paint job and it won't paint itself. Your loving mate is exhausted from working
all day. Your worn out yourself. To top it all off Fido needs his shots, a flea bath and obeisance classes. The
sink is leaking. The maintenance men, if you're lucky enough to have any, act as though they don't know a hammer
from a screw driver. Your dream home, if you're lucky enough to own one, isn't so dreamy when you find out in
addition to the cost of calling it your own, it doesn't come with a lifetime free membership to Home Depot, entitling
you to free supplys. What about the furniture to go in it? Wow. When do you find the funds and the time to run
off to PAris with your mate? The average couple isn't going to survive waiting for a rash get away. You can always save up for your dream vacation. By the year 2200, will your mate still be around to go with you? The answer is yes if you practice creative alternatives to the ultimate cruise for two.

The kids have to go to bed sometime. I once knew this couple who despite living in a three bedroom, slept on the living room floor with the whole family. My view is that if you don't have beds and you can sleep on the living room floor, you can also sleep on the bedroom floor. Needless to say, this couple fought a lot. They simply didn't understand the importance of seperating a child's world from an adult world. So, your first step is to put those
babies to bed at a reasonable hour. After all, if mom and dad aren't happy, the younger ones won't be wearing smiles for long. On the weekends, put a movie in for the children. Put a lock on your bedroom door.

In the words of a Tiffany song,"I think we're alone now." What ever do you do just the two of you?? Make love, not war. Play strip poker. Why not? One of you not know how to play? Even better. Take a bath together though you've
been forewarned, those candle light baths for two are likely to wind up more exciting than relaxing. You may discover your he-man has a secret passion for cucumber soap. Shhh. Don't tell anyone. Ladies he sees you
everyday in socially acceptable clothing. Lingerie need not be see through though that works too. Once in awhile
he might be willing to switch roles with you and perform a strip dance in a pleather thong. I do hope you're so lucky.
Of course, once all this love making produces offspring, you can't just 'you know' anywhere, but you can anywhere
there's a lock on the door. I'm surprised how many places in your room you can 'you know'. The master bath tub, the bedroom floor, a bedroom floor on a fuzzy rug.

A lack of love making has the potential to seriously damage or halt a relationship, especially one that is either still young or one that has been seasoned with time. Ever notice you get on each other's nerves the most when it's been awhile? How long is too long? The answer to this question is going to vary among couples. A month is too long for anyone to wait once you've become lovers. Two to three times a week certainly says the passion isn't gone. Making love four plus times a week won't guarantee harmony either. Surprisingly, the horizontal dance doesn't prevent tension of a general nature. What is the point then? The whole idea is to find a time for two to reconnect during the busy work week. If you have debts unpaid, more than one child or a special needs child, problems with in laws,etc. all of these factors need to be considered potential stresses [not that kids are stresses, but they can be stressful]. If you're handling a lot, take into account that brief arguements or occasional big blow outs.

Does a relationship really need all this pampering? A former neighbor, who'd been married for twenty plus years, said her and her husband were both content doing nothing extra special for each other , in addition to rasing four girls. First of all, she was speaking for herself. Second of all, people often deny themselves what they think they can't have anyway. I'm telling you you can have what you want within reason. A marriage without romantic passion isn't much different than a platonic friendship.

Creative living includes creative loving. You don't want to bombard him with phone calls everday. Suggest to him you'd like for him to find a second to call you once in awhile. Afraid to ask for what you need? Afraid to be pleased.
Guys call her up and ask her what she's wearing. Women love to hear your flirty voice over the phone. Some men
sound so sexy over the phone it's hard to believe who's really calling. Help out that lady who's selling roses on
the side of the rode. Your mate might even keep them around for awhile as potpourri. When we were just starting out in life, my husband couldn't afford valentine roses one year. So, he ask the florist for a stray rose bud, clipped due to a broken stem. There have been instances when we only spent ten dollars a piece on each other for cupid's holiday. It's truly the thought that counts and if it doesn't count then maybe you need to reaccess. Who says a woman can't send flowers to a man? Ladies he's always bringing home a little something for you when he stops by the store for milk. It's your turn to pick him up the soda you know he always wants or a pack of gum. Guys if you're not doing this start. Ladies, when you're making a short run to the kitchen ask him if he wants anything. There's nothing passe' about a woman serving her man if she wants to keep a man. The other way around wouldn't hurt either. Something simple as rubbing her feet when they hurt means a lot. Close couples all have their own special quick reminders of how much they mean to each other. Yours may be pet names, a genlte slight of hand touch on the kneck, butterfly kisses and so one. The most affectionate partners have more than one way of saying "I love you" while on the way out the door. Remember, love can't wait...

With all of this said I'll leave you two alone. No, you'll have to find your own babysitter.