Sweatin' with an Oldie

Age does have some good points, and as soon as I can recall them, I'll let you know what they are. At this point, though, I've noticed that most of us tend to concentrate on the bad. When I catch myself drooling or talking gibberish, I try to laugh it off. After all, it worked when the kids were little. For that reason, I'll tell a good one on me.

I was going to meet the girls for lunch the other day. Well, I don't really think we fall in the category of girls anymore. We're sort of between Medicare and two-piece bathing suits. You know, not quite over the hill but we can see the top.

Anyway, as I was driving down the street, this little light came on in the car that often does when you first start moving. It has something to do with a stabilizing aspect of the hubby's little BMW. There's a button marked "DISC" which I push that shuts it off so I can go as fast as I want. I hate a piece of machinery that thinks it's smarter than I am. So I reached over and pushed the button and laughed. "I'll take my chances, you little smartie," I said as I pushed the accelerator.

A few miles down the road, I began to get hot, although I had the air conditioner blasting away in my face. Funny, I thought, because even though it was a 100 degrees outside, the car usually feels comfortable by this time. After all, it's a small car, and that fan's blowing directly in my face.

Now, it's been quite a while since I've had a "hot flash" and this felt different. "Wonder if this is what a heart attack feels like?" I mumbled to myself. I've read that women have different symptoms than men, you know.

By this time, the sweat was pouring off my body, and I was wishing I'd worn a cooler outfit. I threw my hand up in front of the dash to make sure cool air was blowing out of the vents. It was. Hmmm.

I glanced down and realized that instead of the "DISC" button, I had pushed the button that turns on the heater in the seat. That's when I realized the heat was rising from my posterior up. Took me that long to figure that out, which makes me wonder if I've got some dead nerves in that part of my body. I guess overuse could cause that. Or maybe it's just because there's so much padding back there. I'm not sure, but I think I heard that car laughing at me because I had turned on the seat heater in 100 degree weather.

Like I said, I hate a piece of machinery that thinks it's smarter than I, even if it is. But I did get the last laugh because instead of finding a nice shady spot in the parking lot when I arrived, I parked that sucker right out in the hot sunshine. I know it must have been at least 120 on that black pavement, while I, on the other hand, went inside the nice cool restaurant and lunched with the ladies. That little ride may be smarter than I, but it still takes a human to make it go. A place in the universe for everything, I guess.