Swine flu panic prompts fear in Oregon grandmother

I awoke at 5 a.m. Friday, coughing and gasping. I thought it had to be my asthma. Spring is in the air, but my prescription inhaler gave me no relief. I cycled through home remedies. By noon I was nauseated, exhausted and feverish. My primary distraction, television, taunted me with CDC warnings about the swine flu outbreak.

My suspicious illness hit right when the swine flu first made headlines. And then talk show host Craig Ferguson delivered his monologue via hand puppet -- a gloating pig with a soul patch.

It's swine flu on every channel.

In my Eugene, Ore., home I was alone, disabled, without a car and unable to make my doctor's appointment until Monday. I couldn't catch my breath. Sometime after midnight, I added the cell phone to my "wellness" toolbox. At 4 a.m., I dialed the 9-1-1, and a very polite dispatcher offered to stay on the line until the paramedics arrived. The paramedics politely disagreed with my diagnosis of asthma. The consensus of the five polite men looming over my bed was that I had a respiratory infection combined with a panic attack. Their advice: See the doctor tomorrow.

The next day, still fevered and out of tea, I phoned my doctor's office and begged the weekend triage team for antibiotics. Their advice: No. Go to the urgent care.

I phoned my son, who lives three hours away, and confessed that urgent care is the last place I want to go when I'm sick. News of swine flu -- and the possibility, according to my symptoms, that I might have it, too -- are scary. Plus, the waiting room is a virus convention, and I believed swine flu (and other simmering plagues) waited in ambush.

My son admonished me that the people dying are the ones not seeing their doctors. The fever had made me paranoid. I compromised and made an appointment for Monday, but I managed to avoid urgent care.

I slept sitting upright in a chair. Windows were opened, fans were on, and I bundled in every blanket I could find. My dogs cuddled against me for heat. It was great, except for the sick part.

On the television, Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongoski pleaded, "If you're sick, stay home." On the phone, my daughter-in-law scolded me. She listed illnesses and contaminants that she's exposed to every day at work. I got nauseated again. My son ordered me back to bed.

I called my doctor on Monday, but he was out sick. I made an appointment with one of his partners. On Tuesday, the new doctor scolded me: "Symptoms started Friday? Today is Tuesday." I accepted his lecture and was rewarded -- with a prescription for antibiotics.

But at least it's not swine flu.