Swinging VS. Monogamy: Is Marriage Strengthened by an Open Relationship?

I recently watched an interesting debate on a national news channel about the bonds of marriage and the practice of swinging. It definitely peaked my interest to see a seemingly loving couple standing their ground because they openly practice a taboo lifestyle and then to watch the other spectrum, a marriage counselor/therapist who believes that the practice of swinging destroys everything that a marriage stands for.

If you are unfamiliar with the term "swinger", it is defined by wikipedia as "non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. The phenomenon (or at least its wider discussion and practice) may be seen as part of the sexual revolution of recent decades, which occurred after the upsurge in sexual activity made possible by the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period. Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term has been criticized as androcentric and inaccurately describing the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part." When you think of swinging, it probably brings to mind the practices of the Romans...but in reality the 20th Century definition of swinging became a household name changing from a hush-hush taboo to a more common practice between married couples in the 1950's. It is believed that the practice increased with the military couples of the 1950's due to the husbands being overseas for extended periods of times.

So what has changed in the past fifty years? More and more couples are partaking in the forbidden fruit and they claim that it actually makes their marriage stronger. With the divorce rate on the rise with one of every two couples ending their marriage in divorce, it makes a person wonder what is going wrong. If you ask a swinging couple they will tell you what they feel is going wrong. Times have changed and people that live their lives with hidden desires and pent up frustration end up cheating on their spouses, lying and being deceitful. These, according to the swinging couple, are the problems with marriages today. Financial issues and sex are the top two reasons for divorce, so it sounds to me as if the Swingers might have the upper hand.

Lets flip back to the other side of the coin for a minute. What about Monogamy? Isn't the very foundation of marriage based on trust and fidelity between two partners? What about these people? In today's society these truths and unseverable bonds of marriage are failing. I wouldn't say this is true for every married couple, but think of how many married couples you know that were married one time and never divorced and neither partner cheated on the other one. I can only think of maybe two married couples that fit that criteria and one of the couples grew up in the early 1900's. Those happened to be my great grandparents. They were the most loving elderly couple..but still they slept in separate beds. I don't doubt for a minute that they weren't soul mates. They were the ideal married couple, loving, affectionate and they just so happened to be one the old couples you would see sitting out on the porch together waving at passer byes in their small town. Even if you look at the married couples in their twenties, thirties, forties and fifties you probably don't know too many who have managed to hold their marriage together. These are all things to consider, but there may be other factors involved in the breakdown of the marriage.

It seems that in today's society Monogamy has become the new taboo. I am not saying that I condone it, but I definitely find these facts to be real eye-openers. I think that if you can successfully hold together a marriage whether you are a swinger or not...then you are doing better than the rest of society. As long as no one gets hurt...then I say more power to them.