Tailor Made Parenting Methods

Most of the parenting ideas which have been passed down through the ages have come and gone as newer more conceptual ideas arrives almost daily. The trick is to find the right concept which works for each individual child. Just as each child is different, so should the parenting method be with each individual child.

Each child has different personality traits which defines the child. One method that works for one child will do the complete opposite for another child. Children's traits run from "hyperactive" to "temperamental," and some children are also oppositional. Would you use the same methods of parenting for each of these children?

Dr. Spock's book: "Baby and child care" refers to methods that has been referred to as the "Leave it to Beaver method." This book speaks about four different categories which are necessary in raising your children.

Emotional Support

The first method speaks about the parents need to: "support, understand, trust and protect their children." Each of these emotions are very important to the mental stability of your child. Without support and understanding your child is left in a very unstable state.

You have to be able to trust your children, but also be very observant of them. If you suspect something is out of sync confront them with it. Don't be overbearing, just simply ask them what's been going on which throws these "red flags" waving in your face. Remember, safety is always the first concern for your child, so be cautious of any odd behavior in your children.

Parental Guidelines

The second method speaks of "parental accountability." This goes hand to hand with the protection of your child. Other concepts of this method are the "social and familial responsibility." Other than the spiritual morals which you have set into their minds when they were very young, these two guidelines are about teaching your child respect not only for the family, but also for society in general. Being able to live and function in society is an important issue which needs to be understood to your children.

Trail and Error

The third method is about it being okay for your children to make mistakes. This of course is not condoning habitual errors in the child, but speaks about the trail and error period. This period is where the child learns his or hers abilities. Finding out just what their limitations are. First hand experience is usually where we learn our main lessons in life, and also gain our confidence.

You could talk until your blue in the face and the child still won't listen, so sometimes trail and error is the best teacher. Always be mindful of what your children are up to, and know their limitations before you let an event proceed. Constant supervision is always recommended for small children.

Building Confidence

The fourth method suggests that the parents avoid using "excessive interference." This is like the helicopter parents who hover over their children constantly. Always smothering the child, and blocking out any chance of growth or creativity. Don't over estimate the child's limitations, just for them to be disappointed later if they fail.

Always keep your children's mental stability in mind. If you constantly keep setting them up for failure they'll eventually quit trying. Now you've got an introverted child who is ready to climb into their own box.

The best thing to do early in life is to establish an emotional bond with your child. Spend time with them, and get to know them from the start. Learn their abilities and their mental habits. This will open up a field of communication between you and the child.

When it comes time for discipline administer it, but be fair. Don't give up on the child as some parents finally do. Some parents eventually run out of gas and sit on the sidelines as their children oppose, resist, and irritate them long enough until the parents finally give in to the children. The best advice is to: work smarter not harder.

Open line of Communication

Communication is a must for you and your children. The key to any relationship is always good communication which helps to create an emotional bond. If you get to the point that you can't communicate with your child anymore, give it a break for a while. Most of the time the problem that started the whole situation usually blows over. If not, then you need to go back to the basic rules which you set in the very beginning at the early years of the child.

Remember, always stick to your morals and never deviate from them. If you've laid a good foundation in your children's upbringing, these morals are sunk deep into their soul. They may stray from time to time as they search for their place in the world, but they usually come back to where their roots lie the deepest: their parents.

Source of information: www.leaveittobeaver.org/thesis/thesis_parenting.htm