Take This Relationship Quiz

Looking for some help with your relationship? It can be hard to find the time in which you can sit down with your spouse and evaluate how things are going. What do you start with? What is really important in your relationship anyway? How can you find some common ground?

Here is a series of categories for your relationship. Consider sitting down with your spouse and rating yourself in each of the following areas, giving yourself for a 1 if you think you completely fail in this area, and a 10 if you could not possibly improve in it:

1.Common Goals and Values

2. Commitment to growth

3. Communication skills

4. Creative use of conflict

5. Appreciation and affection

6. Agreement on gender roles

7. Cooperation and teamwork

8. Sexual fulfillment

9. Money management

10. Parent Effectiveness (or substitute Decision-making if you do not have children.)

The idea is pretty simple: sit down and compare your answers. This should not be a simple, "I put a nine, what did you put?" and then you move on. Rather, this is a test that is meant to stimulate conversation. Take each category one at a time and discuss why you put the answer that you did, and make your significant other give his reasons for his answers as well. When your answers differ by more than two points, make sure you take the time to discuss where your ideas and perceptions vary.

This quiz serves two purposes. First of all, it can be encouraging to see in how many areas you and your spouse are in sync. In days of quick interactions and exchanges, it can be easy to feel separated or estranged from the person you love most.

Secondly, it may point out areas in which you disagree, which you didn't realize were an issue. This was the case for my husband and I. We were pretty well aligned until we got to the Communication category. My husband gave us a budding eight, while I felt we were more worthy of a five. Discovering this gave us a great opportunity for dialog.

By going through your ratings, you will inevitably start to talk about how you feel about each other and your relationship. In the course of your conversation you will remind yourselves of your goals, ideals, and areas in which you need to improve.

Take the opportunity to sit down and really evaluate your relationship. You will come away with valuable insight into who you are as a couple, as well as what you would like to become.