Take Yourself to Higher Places

I got up in my usual way in my usual time and got ready for work. I let the dogs out and laced up the boots, checked the snow effect on the car to be sure I didn't need to do any additional brushing and scraping after leaving it to a man to take care of. What is wrong with guys and this task anyway? When I clean off the car I actually "CLEAN OFF" the car. You don't just do the driver's side. You don't ignore the roof completely. I'm sorry, no, no I don't understand the thrill of the entire snowpack blowing off the roof as you pull out of the driveway or worse are three houses down the road. Luckily today all was good or else I was going to be cracking skulls.

I made my coffee and opened the frig to get the cream. But alas alongside the cream were two quarts of eggnog since both will be useless by the end of the week I opted to use the sugar cookie flavored one in the coffee. It was ridiculously good. If only I could have curled up on the loveseat with my Kindle and enjoyed the morning watching the sunrise and the birds flittering, but alas duty called.

Through the woods and over the reservoir to work I go... dawdling traffic writhed like a newly fed snake toward the dam. And then I saw them and all I could think of was Jabberwocky: "Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;" Two of the most majestic bald eagles you could ever imagine were locked in a wobbling, current-riding, tandem, gyre at the edge of the reservoir where the water, the dam, and the woods all meet. When I got along side them they were only a few feet above me. Talk about a catch your breath moment. Second tremendous thing in an hour, could the day get better?

Why yes! Yes it could! I was pre-notified that Wednesday is going to be a snow day at work! AND I am going to have Friday's off for at least the next month!!!!! OH YEAH! I gotta love that! Oh the things I can do with a Friday off! I can go to breakfast with the girlfriend I never see since I took this job. I can hook up with the former Looza Palooza's and while away a few hours. I could straighten out the dungeon and maybe get creative. I could meet up with the 'girls' of the family and knock out the four birthday lunches we haven't found the time to fit in this year. I could go to the gym in the morning when it isn't crowded with all of the New Year's resolutioneers. I could curl up in the corner of the love seat with my egg nogged coffee and my Kindle. "O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! She chortled in her joy!"²

And then as I exercised I watched the news images flash across the screen and some dumbass in Georgia who is not aware that no matter how long you sit and spin that one tire that is driving you're front wheel drive car it is never going to go anywhere! Of course it is going to overheat and catch on fire. And yes that fire is going to jump into the engine and you are absolutely correct if you think it is only a matter of moments from there to the cabin. Good thing Gomer left the driver's door open when he abandoned the vehicle because otherwise it wouldn't have been nearly as spectacular to watch because the flames would have been somewhat contained until the windows shattered. This way here the flames could immediately consume the cheap fabric that covered the seats while melting the dashboard into a toxic cloud while jumping six feet out the open doorway! ROFL!

Okay so I'm a bit sorry about Gomer's car. But really do you have to be a brain surgeon to figure out when to stop spinning the tire? I mean really the first whiff of rubber scented smoke wasn't enough? What exactly happens to people when it snows that makes them lose all ability to drive with any sort of intelligence? Someone should do a study. Let's apply for a grant and get started... I don't know... oh ... let's just say Wednesday for the giggles of it.

Be safe!

1, 2 Lewis Carroll (from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)