Taking Care of the Husband and Wife Relationship After the Baby Arrives

One thing that didn't really enter my mind during the time my wife was pregnant was how the new baby would affect our husband and wife relationship. I was much more concerned at the time about pregnancy and birth...I mean, I have to admit I was a bit scared about the whole childbirth thing. But our daughter was born and everything went fine (although my wife did have a c-section). So now that our baby is 7 weeks old, I've realized that things have changed.

Before we had the baby, my wife and I did a lot of little couple things...you know, simple stuff like taking walks or riding our bikes, etc. After the baby, it's been hard to just get ourselves out the door. I've started to realize that since we spend so much of our time taking care of the baby, it's hard to put any effort into taking care of our husband and wife relationship. This is especially true since my wife was the one who would typically want to do all those little things, and now she is worn out from taking care of the baby all day...and all night (although I do try to help).

So with this in mind here are some things we've tried to do in order to make sure that my wife and I stay close, even as our baby demands so much of our attention.

Continue doing the little things you used to do. My wife and I used to take a lot of walks. And although we don't take as many walks as before, we still try to do that...only now it's with the baby too. Luckily for us our daughter loves to fall asleep as soon as we go out. So even though we take her along, it's almost like we are having "alone" time. Obviously if your baby doesn't like to go out, this could be a problem. But read on...

Get some alone time away from the baby. When your baby is so little, I know it's difficult to leave her and go off on your own even if only for a couple of hours. But I think this is really important to do. Leave the baby with the grandparents, other family member or a babysitter. Then just go spend some time with each other. About a month after our baby was born, my wife and I went to a friend's wedding...and left our daughter with her grandmother. Ok, I will admit that during the reception we thought about calling to see how she we doing, but we resisted. And it was just a great time being there with my wife at a picturesque hotel overlooking the ocean. It also made me remember just how beautiful my wife is and I much I love her.

Give your wife a break and take over for awhile. A couple of weekends ago, I told my wife to call up her friend and go watch a movie. I knew she wanted to see this particular movie and so did her friend. So I watched the baby while she went out with her friend. I know you may be thinking, "how does that affect the husband and wife relationship?" Well, it may not have a direct impact but believe me...by letting your wife regain some sense of a social life, you'll definitely impact your marriage. Just remember that she is constantly focused on the baby now, and she needs a break.

I'm sure there are lots of other things that can be added to this list, but these are just some things that we've done. If you have other suggestions please let me know by adding a comment.