Taking Care of Myself

My sister has been singing the praises of yoga and meditation for some time now. It is evident that this is something that brings her joy and has changed her life for the better.

I've never been interested in yoga because I've always been more aggressive. Things like karate, judo, kick boxing, tae kwon do those are the things I've always wanted to do.

But I'm open-minded and I told her I would try it and see how I liked it.

As time passed I felt more stressful. It was affecting my sleeping, working, and eating habits. I was in this really bad funk. Then my sister sent me an e-mail inviting me to attend a meditation class with her.

I immediately responded with a, "Yes."

Saturday morning arrived and I had been up all night. I hadn't slept a wink. Around eight in the morning I starting feeling sleepy but I couldn't lie down because if I did I knew I would have missed the class.

I managed to stay awake and thankfully soon after my sister arrived. We arrived early; about 40 minutes early.

I'm already sleep deprived and struggling and my sister once again has not read the information correctly and we've arrived at the wrong time. Needless to say I wanted to grab a clock and break it over her head like they do in cartoons. But I digress.

By the time the instructor arrived I was a little giddy and slurring my words. This often happens to me when I'm deprived of sleep.

The instructor began the class with some breathing exercises that required us to close our eyes. Immediately, I became frustrated because I couldn't focus. I struggled with trying to stay awake.

On the other hand I was able to be attentive while we talked with our eyes open.

As we neared the end of the class the instructor asked us if we would like to share the answer we had written down in our journals. She had asked a question along the lines of, "What did we want or need to do in order to make things better in our lives?"

And my answer was: "Take care of myself." Then I attempted to explain all the obstacles that I felt were in my way.

And she said to me, "You're going to have to take it-no one is going to give it to you."

Now I've heard this before, but when she said it on that day. I truly heard it for the first time.

I have to take it! I have to take it! It just kept running over and over in my head.

That was an Aha moment for me. I knew why all the things happened to me that day; they happened for a reason.

The sleepless night, arriving too early, the frustration, and the stress I had been under. All those things had to happen to me in order for me to receive what I needed to receive that day.

And I was relieved of some of my stress almost instantaneously. Because I knew that moment was the beginning of taking care of myself.