I recently had a chance to partake in an extended weekend vacation to Missouri with a dear friend - oh, and did I mention - my husband and kids stayed behind? Yes, you heard it. Patience and endearment for husbands and children can sometimes be lost in the doldrums of laundry piles - but I must say that by leaving the nest - they were found once again!
Within my long weekend, I had fabulous girl-time - hair cuts & hair dye, clothing shopping (without the traditional chase- children-under-the-clothing-display-rack routine), scrapbooking, laughing to the point of tears and gal- pal silliness beyond belief. You can call it R&R - but I would like to deem it "regeneration."
The thing I find amazing is the domino effect that can occur when a mama leaves the hubby to tend to the nest while she is gone to play. What kinds of things can happen when the wifey is away?
Mama gets regenerated. Let's face it, the old adage is true: "A woman's work is never done." Therefore, in order to gain a break from the work that's never done - Mamas must leave the place in which the work exists! No cooking, cleaning, or screaming little blessings for a short time can revive a Mama like nothing else can. It's not selfish - it actually creates a better you for your children and husband. Sure, it's fun to play the part of the martyr, complaining about never getting a break, but the fact is that if you want to get your break you've got to make it happen! It doesn't have to cost a lot of money - you can leave for a full Saturday and go to the park or a library to read for the entire day. Don't play the martyr - take a small amount of time for YOU! You will be better for it.
Children miss their Mommies. There is nothing like absence making the heart grow fonder - especially if those hearts are your childrens. The beautiful sounds of childrens voices shouting "Mommy" in unison as you call or arrive is as a chorus of angels. They will find delight in the simplest things they missed while you were away - reading stories, cooking their favorite meals. Tiny "I Missed You!" hugs are the greatest!
Daddy gets kid-time. How often do we forget the abilities of our precious husbands to care for the children? I'm not saying that every husband is going to manage the home the SAME way you do while you are away (mine actually manages mine better than I do!) but I am saying that being together while mommy is away is a BONDING opportunity. The kids need a chance to have dad meet their needs for awhile. This is healthy and also sets a wonderful example for the boys in the home when they grow up to be fathers. Mother time with children is important, but father time with children is equally so.
Hubby learns to appreciate what Mommy does. Upon my arrival home, my husband spoke these priceless words to me, "I hope that you being away this weekend has changed the way I treat you from now on. I lived your life while you were gone. There's no way I could do the things I wanted to do." Now, if only I could take those words and save them in a bottle - popping off the cork to get an audio replay every time I forget how sweet my mate truly can be! With each phone call I made to our home, I could sense his appreciation for me heightening as the weekend went on. The simple act of appreciation for what we do as stay-at-home moms adds a strong foundational brick into our marriages.
Friendships get cultivated. There are so many relationships in life needing to be tended to - oftentimes our friendships are neglected. We lack time, energy and resources to maintain solid friendships. There is a place in your life for the relationship with your husband, children, and family - but there is never another relationship that can offer what a divine gal connection can bring. Treat yourself to some real girlfriend time - cultivate a relationship. Talk, share, encourage and laugh! Help one another to return home revived and better than before!
Hanging out with a friend or friends for the weekend may not sound like your cup of tea. If you would rather spend your regeneration time alone, consider booking a bed & breakfast for you and only you! Spend the weekend in a remote town in your state ALL BY YOURSELF! Bring along projects, books & movies to watch as you bask in silence.
If you are a stay-at-home Mama and have little resources to spend on a weekend vacation for yourself, you may want to consider joining your local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. This can be your much needed bi-weekly escape and connections with other mothers in your stage of life. They are a wonderful group which offers childcare, snacks, sharing time and crafts.
Whatever regeneration route you choose, just be sure to do it. Everyone needs a break, and unfortunately a mothers job doesn't offer two weeks of paid vacation (or a time-clock to punch for that matter!). Get ready - get set - REGENERATE!
Published by Carey Keavy
Carey Keavy lives in rural Watertown, Minnesota where she & her husband Jeff raise their four sons. Carey is a speaker and author of the book, Raising Your Own Children. View profile
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