Tales from the Convenience Store!

Working in a convenience store is not really much fun and I did it for 3 years. In this tales from the convenience store article I will share some stories that were funny and some that were not humorous at all. And since I did most of my work on 3^rd shift I saw the late night crazies in full form.

My experience with convenience store robberies

I was only actually robbed once and you can read in detail about that situation by clicking this link. It is actually mildly funny as I was robbed by a finger bandit. One robbery situation I was in did turn out somewhat funny. A waitress from a restaurant across the street was always kidding around with me in my store. Well she walks in one night and produces a very real looking, toy gun and says "Stick em up." What she didn't know was that an off duty police officer was sitting in one of our booths. Seldom have I heard a lecture like the one she got from that officer.

Another robbery experience was not so funny. I was working around at around 3 in the morning. A guy came in who looked about 18 years old and started acting nervous. He was pacing back and fourth in front of the beer coolers. He made me nervous enough to start dropping money (putting it in the safe) to limit his take in a robbery. He eyeballed me then asked for change for a dollar and left. He went to a hotel about 100 yards from my store and robbed them. He pistol whipped the female desk clerk, who had to get about 80 stitches in her head.

The cops later told me the boy was afraid of me due to my large size, so he went and robbed them. My take was hell he had a gun I wasn't going to fight him, and would gladly carry the money to his car for him!

Hookers and convenience stores

In my 3 years at the convenience store we had at least 3 hookers who worked there. Convenience stores do not pay much and sometimes attract unseemly people (like me). One girl would work her shift and make dates with construction workers staying at the above mentioned hotel.

Another one whom I had went to school with and had a crush on for years asked my advice. She wanted to know how to become a hooker. I told her "Practice for free with a coworker until you get it right" Thankfully she declined.

The 3^rd one actually locked the store up and left with a customer for her prostitution gig. I happened to drive by and see the store with no clerk and people trying to pump gas. I happened to have keys to the store and opened it up and worked 30 minutes until she came back, riding on the back of a Harley.

Working 3^rd shift I was propositioned several times by hookers coming into the store. One time stands out to me as it was another girl I had gone to school with. She wanted $20 worth of food to trade for crack at the hotel. She walked in, saw me and flipped up her shirt letting her breasts fall onto my counter. "Grab these" she said and made her offer. I declined and spent 20 minutes disinfecting my counter.

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I once found a $50 bill while sweeping the parking lot of the convenience store, and another time a clearly used sex toy. I kept the $50 after the manager held it for 90 days with nobody claiming it. I never asked what the manager did with the sex toy.

Around midnight one evening I was standing outside talking to a police officer. A truck pulls into the lot and the guy gets out and staggers over to urinate on the wall of the store. The cop grabs him and gives him a sobriety test which he fails of course. The cop cut him a break and tells him to call a friend to come get him. About 2 hours later I see somebody running around the parking lot of the restaurant across the street, which is closed.

I call the cop and he comes down and it turns out to be the peeing bandit busted at my store. Seems he didn't want to leave his truck at my store. Drunk dude was running laps around the restaurant trying to sober up so he could drive home. The cop tested him again, declared him sober and sent him on his way.

Once I had a drunk guy come staggering into the store and head for the beer cooler. Now ya can't sell alcohol to a drunk and I wasn't going to. He was a big guy and I was nervous about refusing to sell to him. But then I see a cop car pull into the lot.

The phone rings and the cop asked me what the drunk guy was doing. About this time the guy drops a 12 pack of Bud and breaks most of the bottles. I tell the cop what was is going on and he tells me to tell the guy to leave. I told the drunk to leave that I couldn't sell him any beer. He did go out without a word to me and the cops swarmed him in the parking lot. They were already looking for him because he had just stabbed his roommate with a screwdriver!

Yet another night this very well dressed older lady pulls her luxury car into the parking lot. We were right beside an interstate and it was raining hippos and cows (cats and dogs don't do it justice) so she cane to sit out the storm.

She was there for about 10 minutes when suddenly she started talking bad about African Americans and blaming them for all the world's problems. Now this was years before Obama, she was just a crazy racist B. I guess she thought I would agree with her because I am white. I just looked at her and said (which wasn't true) "Mam my wife is black and I resent what you are saying." She looked at me like horns had sprouted from my head and left without another word.

All of these tales from the convenience store are true. Next time you are in one remember what the clerks have to put up with and cut them some slack. Don't become a tale from the convenience store.