Tales from the Crib

"Your parents had just arrived in Florida, it was really late in the evening and they had a two hour drive to where your grandmother lived. This would be one vacation they would remember," Elan was telling me. "You remember, Dad, it was your feet, so you tell it."
"Ok, I had just dropped off Elan and Aaron--," Dad started.
"No, just Elan," entered Mom.
"--Just Elan, at your grandmothers house and we were heading over to the condo we had rented, with you and the boys." Dad said. "Well, we were all tired so I put you in the crib."
"No, I put her in the crib and you got the bed ready," Mom corrected.
"Ok, so we were in bed and I was asleep when Mom's good old elbow hit me in the ribs," Dad said with excitement, "I looked to Linda and said, 'What?' and she said 'I hear something'. At which I sat up, but I didn't hear a thing. I laid back down, and went instantly back to sleep. Then a short while later the elbow smacked me, again, 'I hear something' Linda said. So again I sat up and again I didn't hear anything. I told her to go back to sleep, and so, I did Not even a minute later the elbow once more hit me, 'I hear something Ed', so I sat up and this time I heard something too."
"So we turned on all the lights and looked around, but we didn't see anything." Entered Mom.
"Hey, who is telling this story?" Dad asked with a laugh. "I suggested it was a mouse in the house. So we went back to sleep leaving the kitchen light on. The next day we went down to Security and we learned that there had been an infestation of water rats, and the condo we were staying in was not yet rat proof."
"We discovered the water rats were classified as endangered species," Mom informed us. She then went on to proclaim that this endangered species was in dire danger if she had found them!
"So that afternoon they set up all the traps, and these were huge traps because they were huge rats. I mean like a couple of feet long rats. Anyway we went back to the condo and I put you in your crib and Will to bed, Elan and Aaron were at your grandmothers for the night." Dad's voice was getting louder.
"Thank god," Elan put in.
"And then we went to bed. Well soon enough the elbow returned, "Dad snickered," 'I hear something' your Mother said. Of course, again, I didn't hear anything. After going back to sleep I did hear this thunderous snap and a series of thuds " Dad said, clapping his hands together to demonstrate the sound of the rat smacking up against the kitchen floor several times. "Of course, I had the elbow to wake me up, but I didn't need to be woken this time. So Linda was telling me to look at the trap and I was telling her to look at the trap. So she elbowed me again and I begrudgingly crawled across the bed and climbed onto the kitchen counter and what to my wondering eyes should appear, on the floor was this huge rat bleeding all over the tile. And let me tell you this was no reindeer. See, the trap only got the nose of the rat, so it was loose and bleeding all over the place. Not wanting to engage in heroics, I had Linda call security. They came in and got on their hands and knees looking under and over everything and anything with their flashlights because the rat had disappeared. They informed us it was gone and there was nothing to worry about. So I escorted them out, thanked them and came back inside. I was standing about ten, no twelve feet away from the bed."
"You went to the bathroom first," Mom told him.
"Oh yeah, I went to the bathroom, and when I came out I was twelve feet away from the bed. Well, I was telling Linda that I was glad the rat was gone when the rat who had been hiding under a set of bi-fold closet doors decided to emerge, running right over my bare feet," Dad was now jumping up onto his feet full of excitement. "I must have set the record for standing long jump because right after I screamed I was on the bed next to Linda, a distance of over twelve feet."
"Well that was it for us, we got our stuff and left the condo that night and spent the rest of the time at your grandmother house." My mom finished, "We never stayed in a condo again."
"But of course, we left you as a offering to the rat." My Dad added, with a laugh.