Tales from the Gofer Farm - Liven Up Your Work Life

Do you work in a gofer farm? You know, one of those cubicle cities with the clipped- together workspaces that afford all the privacy of quarter booth at a sleazy sex club? The place you call "home" 8 or more hours a day, with a boss who stands looking over your shoulder without your knowledge like some creepy voyeur? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Well, it doesn't have to all be drudgery, and maybe it's time to lighten things up a bit with these ten ideas.

1. Yell "cookies" or "danish" every time you arrive on time. You'll know who the real suck-ups are right away by the heads that pop up. Of course, have at least two cookies in your pocket or donuts in a bag, or you could be facing an unruly mob.

2. Buy a bag of rubber bands, and shoot them off the ceiling into the adjacent cubicles. Depending on your location within the gofer farm, you may be able to land them in every workspace within the cavern. Go for accuracy, and try to land them on keyboards and laps.

3. Tack the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition on the "entrance" to your cubicle. Just the cover. Anyone who stops to look, tell them they can rent the full thing for 15 minutes from you for the full cover price.

4. Put a small aquarium in your cubicle, with a fake fish, fake water, etc. On days when you arrive early and your boss is already there, make sure he sees you come in, the sit and stare at the aquarium numbly until starting time.

5. Use "The Joker" on your screen as your background image, and just give anyone who asks a big, toothy grin, without saying a word.

6. Hang a Superman cape over the side of your cubicle, so it is only visible to the person on the other side. When asked, quickly pull it down with a sheepish grin.

7. Set out pictures all over your cubicle, the ones that came with the frames. Make up stories about each picture, all of them with a tragic ending. Practice weeping.

8. Hang one of those giant rearview mirrors you see in cabs over your monitor. Mount ribbon of flashing LED's all around the rim, and hang a crucific with St. Christopher from it.

9. Get a piñata, and carry it around asking everyone if they have string and a bat. Ask them why they haven't RSVP'd for the party later, and if they would mind if you hung the piñata over their workspace.

10. Blanket all of the walls with scenes from tropical locations. Use your red Swingline stapler to put them up, and request a fire extinguisher from your boss.