Tales from a Real Life Steak House Waitress

Do we spit in your food? Maybe. A former waitress at one of the national steak house food chains, boy does a steak house waitress have some secrets. Working as a steak house waitress wasn't an easy job, but it was a lot of fun, and we all enjoyed the customers. But here are a few things you might not know about a steakhouse waitress.

We don't spit in your food, but sometimes we want to

What? You didn't tip us well that last time you came, so what are we supposed to do, send you as a fresh bouquet of roses? Waitresses are only paid about 2.35 an hour on average, and that's without taxes. Some waitresses are lucky if they make 20.00 in tips on an 11 am to 4pm shift. They've been smelling raw meat, walking into cold freezers, and you didn't even tip well. So no, we don't spit, but sometimes we have to restrain ourselves.

This is true. Often during lunchtime big groups of people will come in and run a waitress ragged. Then, they will walk out without even tipping her. And that makes her a little less than happy. Think she won't remember you the next time you come in? Think again.

It's no big thing to us if we give you frozen chocolate cake or any other kind of dessert we can freeze. You think those brownies were baked fresh? Think again. Everything we can put in the freezer, we put it in there. That could be week old cake you're ordering. But I mean, it was frozen so what's the problem?

This is the absolute truth. When I worked for the steakhouse, we froze cake, brownies, cheesecake, key lime pie, and other things. Something might have been a week old before we brought it out of the kitchen to you.

Got a light? I hope I don't get any of this on your food.

Some waitresses take plenty of smoke breaks right before having to run in and take your order. They might have smoked that cigarette down until they were practically licked their fingers only to walk in and say, "Have you tried our soup of the day?" It's a saying that a very large percentage of waitresses and waiters are on some type of drugs, be it marijuana, or even the hard stuff. So you never know what someone was doing before they came out to serve you. I experienced this first hand. Everyone in that place where I worked was on something.

We can't stand working here, but Happy Happy Birthday! After complaining, and moaning about bad tippers, oversized tables, and irritating managers we decide to come out of the kitchen and sing to your two year old. Hopefully, he can't tell that we really aren't that happy at all.

Well, this kind of fake it 'till you make it attitude happens at a lot of jobs doesn't it?