Talking to Your Children About the Death of a Pet
Grieving the loss of a pet is hard. It is especially hard when you have to explain the death of a pet to your children. There is no right or wrong way to talk to your children about the death of a pet. Sadly, I have experience with this subject. Hopefully these tips will make talking to your children easier when you are grieving the loss of your pet.
Be honest about death, even though it is hard. It is not wise to pretend that your pets never die. Telling your children that your pet moved away, or trying to buy an identical replacement pet is not a good idea. Death is a natural part of life and something everyone needs to learn to cope with at some point in their lives. As hard as it might be, understand that teaching your children to deal with the death of a pet is an important life lesson.
Explain the lifespan of your pet. Every year we get a few mantises to keep as pets. At first I was concerned about keeping a mantis for a pet because I knew they would not live long. Mantises live at most a couple years, but the majority of them have a one year life cycle. When the mantises die we explain to our child that the bug lived a long and full life. Because these pets do not live very long it is appropriate to remind the child throughout their lifespan that they are reaching the end of their life.
It is harder when your pet is a longer lived animal. I do not recommend routinely reminding your child that your pet dog, cat, or turtle will die. When your long lived animals get old it is appropriate to compare their stage in life to a person. For instance, you might subtlety warn children of the impending death of a 14 year old cat by referring to her as a great-granny kitty.
Talk about the circle of life. If you have religious views on death it is okay to incorporate them into the discussion when your pet dies. In my family we talk about how when an animal dies it is very sad for us, but a happy thing for the animal because they get to move on in their journey. There is no right way to explain the death of a pet to your child. You can tell your children that the deceased pet is in heaven, will be reincarnated, or is just at peace.
Show your emotions. It is tempting to try to be strong and mask your feelings for the sake of your children. A healthier way to teach your children how to deal with the death of your pet is to show them that it is okay to feel emotions when a pet dies. Work through the grieving process with your children.
More from Loki Morgan:
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Published by Loki Morgan - Featured Contributor in Technology and Lifestyle
Loki Morgan is a Microsoft Certified Professional with over ten years experience in the Information Technology field including technical writing. Morgan has published online content with a focus on compute... View profile
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5 Comments
Post a CommentTrully a tough subject....I know things were not handled right with me as a kid and I tried to do the right thing for my kids in that regard. It's not always easy. great article
This was one of the hardest things I've ever done! cheers - well written :)
excellent writing:) Thanks! We were allowed (and encouraged) to have elaborate funerals for our pets. Made it somewhat easier.
All Dogs go to Heaven. Tough to do.
The popular euphemisms that adults use with kids can cause a lot of harm.... I worked with a child who suffered from inexplicable insomnia. Turned out when his dog had died, his parents told him that the pet had been 'put to sleep.' He didn't want what happened to the dog (he knew, of course, that the dog had died) to happen to him.