Talking to Children About Bombs

Recently my four year old son came to me with a baseball and declared that he had a bomb. I asked him if he knew what a bomb was and he replied, "Yes, bombs are the most powerful weapon. They are cool!" My heart dropped.

How do you talk to a preschooler about bombs, war, and death?

The first thing I did in response was to search Google. I wanted to find age appropriate suggestions for talking to my four year old about bombs. I could not find anything. I felt the need to explain to my son that bombs were not cool but I was torn. I did not want to rob him of his childhood or expose him to extreme horrors at such an early age. The fact was he had already been exposed to the concept of a bomb but he did not link that to horror, war, and death.

I gained a deeper understanding of the suffering war brings while speaking with my mother, Dr. Deborah Smith-Shank (Northern Illinois University Art Education) about the work she and her students did in Croatia with children who survived their wars. Drawing on that conversation I approached my son. I explained that he was right, bombs are very powerful weapons. My eyes began to water as I told him that there were children in other parts of the world making art about their experiences with bombs. I explained that kids his age, four year old children, drew pictures of their families being killed by bombs. His eyes started to water when I elaborated that because bombs are so powerful they hurt people in a very wide area. Many children have had the terrifying experience of seeing their families being hurt and killed because they were in that very wide area when bombs went off. I ended the conversation by telling him that I did not think bombs were cool at all, and he agreed. We hugged for quite some time, and since then the topic has not come up.

Is there a right way to talk to your child about bombs and the weapons of war?

I do not know if the talk I had with my preschooler is the best way to talk to children about bombs. I have always taught my son that war is senseless violence, but I never had the need to talk to him about innocent people being hurt and killed. He learned Edwin Starr's song "War" at a very early age as did I. It wasn't until he was four that I allowed him to get toy weapons, although toy guns are still outlawed. He is restricted to a bow and arrow set as well as a light saber. Having grown up without brothers I just have to take my husband's word when he says boys will be boys. I wonder if the 'boys will be boys' mentality has contributed to the rise in violence amongst young boys.

Am I a bad mother? Have I damaged my son by imprinting images of war and death onto him while he was still a preschooler? Frankly, I do not know. I do strongly believe that even small children can learn empathy and that real weapons hurt real people.

Images created by children impacted by war

Children in the United States have a very limited understanding of the absolute horror of war. For this reason I wanted to include some images made by children whose lives were directly impacted by war and the weapons of war.

Rachel Webster, author of Arts Therapy Offers Relief, includes a drawing named "Tears of Blood". The Artreach Foundation uses art therapy to help children in war-torn countries like Bosnia and Kosovo. Click HERE to see the image.

The 2009 Global Symposium Panel on JDC's Response in War and Crisis by Gideon Herscher features two images created by children who have been caught up in a land dispute. To see the image named Fear click HERE. To see the image named Anger click HERE.

Sources:

Personal Experience

Dr. Deborah Smith-Shank, PhD.
http://www.niu.edu/art/arted/art-edweb/Site%202/Smith-shankVITA2009.pdf

Art therapy offers relief by Rachel Webster

2009 Global Symposium Panel on JDC's Response in War and Crisis by Gideon Herscher