Talking and Flirting is Not Cheating!

"I don't know what your problem is, we were just talking. You are way too jealous and I am sick and tired of being accused and of your little dramas!"
Did that statement sound familiar to you? Were you made to feel like you had no sense in your head and are just a stupid nit? If that is the case, allow me to make my case to both sides of this argument.

There is talking and there is talking!
You are right that there is nothing wrong with talking and being polite to the opposite sex, but the question is just how that conversation went. If it is strictly business and the jokes stay away from the sexual innuendoes then there is nothing wrong with it. A joke is not a problem, but a joke with the long look down the other person's private area, or a hug that is full frontal, you have just crossed the line and gone a bit too far.

Am I anal? Maybe, but let me explain it to you this way. If you don't get the admiration you want at home (and no matter what you never will be satisfied with what you get at home or you wouldn't be flirting to begin with) or are just a typical human being who can never get enough of those admiring looks, then the acceptance of those "innocent" flirtations and gazes can lead you to things that you may never intended. Who doesn't like to feel sexy and desired? I know we all do, but there is a time and a place for it and your workplace is not the time, nor the place. Once you are married, that should stay in the Realm of your Relationship and not behind your Spouses back.

There is a big difference when a young man is talking to a woman in her 60^th and she makes goggle eyes at him (most would not take her up on that offer unless they are a bit hard up) and when a 20 Year old or even a 40 Year old suddenly makes her voice all breathy and rubs up on him. Do you see a slight difference?
What about the brawny lad that sweet talks your old lady and makes her remember that she is still desirable, opens those doors for her that you let fall shut into her face?

What happens when you suddenly laugh and talk more intimately with your co-worker or friend of the opposite sex then with your own spouse? Laugh heartily together when you can not even get your teeth apart at home other then to make demands or complaint?

What happens when you take better care of your appearance when you hang around that person than you do with your own spouse? You can not be bothered to put on make-up or for the guys shave, but as soon as you go to see "your Friend" you suddenly remember your appearance. You did not have sex with that person, but you have engaged in an emotional affair. The sexual aspect may or may not follow, but the cheating has already occurred on a heart level. Which one is actually worst? Which one will destroy? I would say they are pretty equal.

Sometimes it isn't about jealousy, but about disrespect.
Your spouse is having a conversation with you when out of nowhere your co-worker shows up, hugs and kisses him or her, interrupts the conversation and doesn't even have the courtesy to acknowledge you. Now, that is a thing that seems to happen more with a husband and a female co-worker. Most men would not have the rudeness to try that one, besides that most husbands would more and likely knock the hell out of the guy. By making your Spouse invisible, you have just told your Spouse and anyone seeing it that your Partner is not important enough to give respect to. Good job!

Here it really depends on how the husband acts. If he accepts the hug but turns his body to the side and then makes certain that the intruding female realizes that his wife is right there and makes sure there is an introduction, I would say I have to give respect to that male. He should even go further and pull his wife into his arms or to his side, showing to all who he belongs with. That is called respect and pride. If he however acts as if his wife's reaction of hurt and outrage is something abnormal or tells her she is having a problem where none should be, then there is a problem on his end.

A female Co-worker that doesn't mean anything by the hug will approach the wife first and say hello, before she hugs the guy. I would go even further, if she doesn't know the wife well enough to hug her as well; she is obviously not that close of a family friend and has no business hugging the husband. Especially full frontal!

Are the five minutes of feeling good about your-self worth the heartache?
So you have your little smiles, hugs and shared jokes. Your co-workers are all around so what could possibly be wrong with that. Sure she is hot or he is cute and you have mentioned that in passing, but so what. After all you didn't suddenly go blind just because you got hooked up with your current flame and who doesn't like a little bit of harmless fun? Your spouse wouldn't! Do you really think that evil tongues aren't going to wag and that what you think as harmless could break his or her heart? Those that mean evil to your Relationship will not tell it the way you would have it told. Believe me that they will carry the tale of an affair and don't bother explaining that there is nowhere to have a bit of fun, where there is a will - there is a way and if you have to do it in the Bathroom.
No matter what you think your Spouse has quit doing for you, I guarantee that you are no angel either and have probably let your partner hang more often then not.

Ask yourself this; if this would happen to you, would it still seem so harmless? And what about the person you are flirting with? Do they know the score or are they hoping to take your spouses place? Perhaps not for good, but just long enough to break up your home. If you still think it is worth the five minutes of fun that you get out of it, than have at it. Only remember, that once trust is broken, it is extremely difficult to rebuild. You may want to look out for sudden Luggage Purchases.

The Home wreakers
I am talking to you guys directly, because most of the time it is a female that loves to do this. I am sorry that so many of my gender are that twisted.
The always smiling female in your office or store is flirting with you, she is always happy, never a bad word towards you. You are her Hero. She can not wait to laugh at your next joke. You are so adorable, according to her. She would never treat you as badly as your wife does, or so she says. You are the smartest, best looking, bravest ....
I hope you get the picture. She dreams of you, but she knows that you are loyal to your wife and she would never do anything to hurt you. She isn't that kind of girl! Don't worry about those few stolen kisses, the late nights at work which you spend in conversation with her. Or the one or two times it was her face you saw instead of your wife's while you had some loving moments in bed together. Fantasies are normal and after all your wife is getting a bit pudgy and old looking. So you go from one thing to the next and suddenly, you can not stand it any longer and finally you are sampling the forbidden fruit and oh it does taste so good.
Your wife finds out, (and believe me we can feel it when our men are with other women) and your marriage is over. At first you might be a bit upset, you may even remember the kids and the house, but oh you are finally free to go to the woman that adores you so much. Surprise, she is no longer interested or is cheating on you already. What happened? You don't understand this!
She never did want you to begin with; she just wanted to break up what you had. Now, you are no longer a challenge and who would want a cheater for a boy-friend anyway. When she has to wash your clothe, cook your meals you are not that much fun. Real life isn't romantic, but eh she never did ask you to fall for her. You Looser!

So talking is just talking and a smile is just a smile, until you cross the line. If you do, better be aware of the price you are willing to pay. If you marriage or relationship is worth so little to you, then perhaps your spouse is already better off without you.
Cheating is no longer a man's game, women have joined in too. However, it is still the men that seem to hold the record and with 65% of married guys cheating physically on their partners, I would say our odds are pretty bad.
Do you really have to wonder, why we wives don't trust anymore?