Talking to Your Kids About Sex and Teen Pregnancy

On average, nearly half of teenagers between the ages of 15 and 19 have had sex at least once. Why exactly is this? Teenagers rebel and will do what they want when they want most of the time. But, As parents, we are our child's greatest influence. How are we to expect our children to wait until marriage to have sex, when as adults, so many live with their boyfriends or girlfriends and have children out of wedlock? I know when I was a child, I based my judgment on right and wrong on what my parents considered right and wrong. I knew when I was doing wrong. And though I did not always make the right decisions, I was aware of my actions.

Upon learning about Jamie Lynn Spears becoming pregnant, it is shocking to me how many people are not shocked by this. This "child" is the beautiful, really "cool girl" on television that our Preteen-teen and young teenagers look up to and want to become. How are we supposed to tell our own children that their virginity is something that should be saved until marriage, when a children's' television channel still airs episodes of Zoey 101 after learning of the teen's pregnancy? What we allow our children to watch on television greatly molds their minds into what kind of person they will become. We are becoming desensitized when it comes to the wrongs in the world, that we accept this as the normalcy and look upon good morals as odd. Jamie Spears's mother, Lynne, even stated that her daughter was in a "committed relationship" so that made it okay? She was allowing her 16 year old daughter to live with her 19 year old boyfriend. And this is the woman who is writing parenting books? Not only is that wrong, but it is illegal (and for a good reason). What kind of message is this sending to our children? Of course, her sister, Brittany, was not much help in influencing her. But for Dr. Phil to say that Lynne is a good mother, I no longer trust his advice. Was he paid to say that or is his judgment that skewered?

We teach our children to have safe sex, but we do not tell them that sex before marriage is wrong. We teach them that once they are "in love" or "in a committed relationship" then it is okay. But young teenagers may consider every relationship as being "in love". What these young people do not realize is their consequences. Sure, babies are cute. Especially the kind that you can give back to the parents when you are done holding them. But if that young person who has a baby young wants to go to college or have a career, it will not be easy. Whatever plans they have will most likely be put on hold. When you have a child, you are responsible for that person 24 hours a day. And when they are sick, you have to take care of them. You have to feed them and bathe them and diaper them and clothe them (which is extremely expensive) and that child is priority over you. When your friends are having parties or get-togethers, you will probably miss most of them. Don't get me wrong, there are many positives to having your own children. But if you do not have a husband (who you know will be there always) to share the responsibility and expenses with, your life will not be easy. And many young people do not have the maturity to take on this responsibility. After all, how mature can they be if they are having unprotected sex at such a young age?

We need to teach our children right from wrong, and though they will make their own decisions, I want them to know when they are doing wrong. We need to take a stand and screen what kind of things our children see on television. But most of all, we need to be influences on them and positive role models, rather than defending their wrongs.