Talking Sex: How to Deal with a Shy Partner

At some point or another we have all been in a relationship where we are the big talker. Sometimes it is just a case of one person being slightly more vocal than the other but in many cases our partner may be the shy type. Of course there is absolutely nothing wrong with being shy, in fact it can be a very attractive quality. It can also cause the more vocal partner a certain amount of frustration when it comes time to talk about sex.

Regardless of what your situation is when you are in a serious relationship the subject of sex is bound to come up. It may just be casual conversation or it may be a serious discussion. No matter how the topic comes up if you are with someone that has a hard time expressing themselves you may find yourself getting annoyed when you mention sex and they start dancing around the issue.

The first thing you should do if this happens to you is step back and asses the situation. Are you completely sure that now is the time to be talking about sex? I don't just mean the time in your relationship. Make sure that you aren't in a public place or somewhere that can cause your partner any additional nervousness. Also is the topic leading to arguments or causing other problems in an otherwise ideal relationship?

If you really have a satisfying relationship and your partners reluctance to talk about sex isn't going to cause any serious problems then let it go for a while. Maybe wait a week or two before bringing it up again, especially if you're talking about having sex for the first time. Sometimes constantly bringing up the subject will make your partner feel as though they are under pressure and will make them bottle up their emotions even more. In some cases your partner may choose to end the relationship all together if they feel you aren't giving them the time they need to get comfortable with the subject.

When the time comes and your partner is ready to talk about sex do everything in your power to make your partner feel comfortable. Choose a setting where they have previously opened up to you before. This setting could be in your car after a date or at their favorite restaurant; somewhere they have felt comfortable sharing their emotions.

Always do your best to present a calm and composed face when talking about sex with them. This may sound easy but if you are frustrated it can be harder than you would imagine. If you are already impatient and tired of all the delays getting to the subject it is easy to let these emotions show while your partner is trying to talk to you about sex. If your partner sees this they may misinterpret your emotions and think that you just want them to hurry up and finish what they are saying. They may end up holding back the majority of their opinions.

Try and make your partner feel as though you really care about what they are saying even if you disagree. Do not cut them off when they are speaking to you and try to only speak when they are asking you a direct question. Give them the floor completely, remember you are usually the one to share and now it is their turn.

If your partner knows how much you truly care about and value their opinion it will make it easier for them to discuss the subject in the future. Remember, just because your partner is completely open and straight forward about sex one night does not mean the same will hold true the next night. The easier you make things for them the first time the easier it will be to get them to speak about sex the next time.

Just take your time and remember it takes more than one conversation to share all your thoughts and opinions about sex. It will take time and patience on both your parts to get completely comfortable with each other sexually. Remember; no matter how frustrating it may be for both parties being able to speak with your partner about sex will do wonders for your relationship both in and out of bed.