Talking to Your Teens About Sex

Our teens know a lot about sex. They may know more than some parents! They learn the technical, biological aspects of sex early in school. They see passion and postures in movies, on TV and read it in books. The learn the fun and feeling in personal exploration. They can even tell you about the risks of sex, although most privately believe nothing bad will ever happen to them. What they don't learn is the most important lesson of all: sex is sacred

An old-fashioned word, sacred is not heard much these days. That's sad, because it is a valuable word. Aside from its religious connotations, the word means "worthy of respect and reverence; highly valued and important." (Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary) In that context, sacred is a vital word to apply to sex. Furthermore, it is vital for parents and leaders to convey the sense of sacredness when talking to young people about sex. It is time our children understand more about sex than they learn in school, movies, television shows and movies.

First; sex is sacred because it creates life. It is the only means of creating life. That makes it sacred, because life is sacred. The primary reason for sex in the animal kingdom is procreation--not entertainment. Since humans are part of the animal kingdom, we need to remember that. Let no one engaging in the act of sex ever forget: sex produces babies, often in spite of contraceptive practices!

Second; sex is sacred because of the partnership involved. The man gives something of himself. The woman receives it. Two bodies are joined as one. Repeat that statement. Two bodies are joined as if they are one. These stages occur regardless of attitude, circumstances, location or timing. Sex is not and should not be thought of as mere entertainment, scratching an itch, a conquest or a way to be more popular. It should not be thought of in any selfish, self-serving manner. To do so reduces both participants to mere objects to be used. An individual is not something to be used. This kind of thinking debases a person.

Third; for human, sex is much more than a mere physical act. It involves the psyche, the emotions and some would say, the spiritual. The difference between a virgin and prostitute, for instance can literally be seen in the face, the posture and the very affect of a person. When the phenomenon of the joining, giving and receiving mentioned above happens, the persons becomes intimately involved. They become partners. There is eroticism involved. There is a unique sharing that does not occur in any other connection. Each person carries a part of every single sexual partner throughout the whole of life. If you don't believe this, ask anyone who had had multiple partners. The residuals are there, even if the whole memory isn't.

Fourth; sex is sacred because of the physical communication of feelings, such as love. Sex is not love, but it can and should express love. Humankind is the only species that appears to experience erotic sensations before, during and after the act. (These addictive sensations are one of the main reasons sex is abused.) As a communication tool, sex needs to be reserved for the highest, deepest and most sincere feelings--not for a passing fancy or momentary "need".

Reviewing the sacred aspects of sex proves sex needs to be reserved only for long-term commitments. One sees how indiscriminate sex is harmful to participants--above and beyond the obvious risk of disease. Perhaps the very existence of sexually transmitted diseases, some of which are fatal, serves as a further reminder of the sacredness of sex. It is not intended to be "fooled around with".

It's time for parents and leaders to recognize and accept their responsibility for proper teaching on the subject of sex. The essence of sex cannot be conveyed by strangers in a clinical or educational setting. Sacredness calls for a serious, sit-down conversation and a loving, caring atmosphere.

Our young people already know a lot about sex. They need to know about it in a different way. They need to hear about sex in a way the world doesn't teach. Their knowledge, and that of many adults, needs to be rescued from the profane and elevated to the sacred, where it belongs. Sex needs to be "worthy of respect and reverence; highly valued and important".