Taming the Monster: Helping Your Child Overcome Test Anxiety

100 million. That is the number of standardized tests American students take each year. If your child is among the most that experience some anxiety associated with these tests, you may need to help them overcome their apprehension so that they can perform their best on exam day. How can you know if your child suffers from test anxiety? Look for these signs:

• Your child seems to know more than is expressed on exams
• In the days or even weeks leading up to the exam your child exhibits more signs of anxiety such as headaches, stomachaches or nail biting
• In the days or weeks leading up to the exam, your child becomes more resistant to attending school
• Your child expresses resistance to taking the exam
• Your child states that they feel nervous during standardized tests. You may need to ask your child directly to find this out.

Most of these test-taking and studying tips are best implemented throughout the school year. Your child's teacher will be working very hard at school to help your child succeed. But home preparation is an important part of successful test-taking for many children as well. There are several steps parents can take at home to prepare their children for the big day.

1. Address your child's concerns about their performance. Find out how your child feels about the exams and correct any faulty assumptions. Realistically, help your child (perhaps with the teachers help) to understand her strengths and weaknesses. Try to strike a balance between stressing the usefulness of the tests and the fact that no matter the results, life will go on.
2. Talk to your child about their feelings regarding their classroom examinations. Teach your child that every test they take in school is like a mini-rehearsal for the "big" tests. This will help them to realize that in some ways they have been preparing for the test for some time.
3. Support your child's academic efforts. Even when they may not accomplish at the level that you would like to see, approach them with the attitude that you will be standing by them and supporting them as you work toward the common goal of good school performance.
4. Teach your child about the power of positive thinking and positive speech. Do not let your child or anyone in the household say things like "I am so stupid, I will never pass this test". Instead you and everyone in the household should practice saying " I know that you are going to do so well on that exam" or "I know that anything that you put your mind to, you can achieve."
5. Talk to your child about how common test-taking anxiety is today. Even very bright children and adults can become nervous when taking tests. Explain that the child should not feel ashamed about this but should instead make plans to overcome test-taking anxiety.
6. Rehearse the testing situation with your child. Have your child sit at the table and try to imagine he is taking the test at school. How does he feel? Have him pinpoint all of the feelings so that he can get better control over them. Does his stomach hurt or his heart feel like it is beating fast? Learning to expect these feelings and remembering that they will not last forever can be very reassuring. Tell the child that these anxious feelings do not need to stop them from performing their best on the exam. If they can learn to ignore the feelings, they will go away and if they focus on them, they will continue.
7. Teach your child simple breathing techniques for relaxation. Just reminding her to take deep breaths and focus on those breaths will help to calm anxiety. Practice this breathing every night at bedtime.
8. Especially around test time, try to keep all stress, arguing and disagreements to a minimum at home. Maintaining a calm home environment will help the child to draw on calming techniques during the testing time.
9. Was there a time that you had to take a big test and you felt nervous? Share this experience with your child. It will make them feel better!
10. Use humor to help to lighten your child's approach to the exam. In the days and weeks leading up to the exam, encourage silliness in your household. Advise your child to have a joke of funny face that they will remember when they are feeling afraid during the test. It is difficult to feel afraid and smile at the same time!

With a combination of practical steps to address any real deficiencies, effective anxiety coping mechanisms and the child's reassurance that you will still love them no matter what score they achieve on their tests, children can overcome test anxiety to allow their knowledge to shine.