Task and Chore: A Discipline System for Children

There are days when I hear parents yelling out in despair for help with their children. They are defiant and rude and turning into little monsters and the parents feel slightly foolish since they aren't sure what to do about it. Parenting isn't always an easy task. Don't feel too foolish. I think every parent has that one child that makes them sympathetic to the wild animal mothers that eat their young.

My oldest son hit puberty "early" (according to dad). He has the armpit hair, the crackly voice and the attitude that makes me want to contemplate boot camp for him. I finally found a punishment system that works for him. I call it Task and Chores.

The difference between task and a chore.

"Task" is the grungy boat work no one really wants to do, but we have to. Like toilet cleaning, emptying the camping toilet (that's the FIRST task to go) cleaning the bilge, scrubbing the anchor chain, scrubbing the bird poo off the sail covers etc...

"Chores" are those things we do daily, like dishes, trash, sweep decks, etc. One day I ran out of punishment "chores" and had one of them hold my phone for an hour while it charged.

Step One- Warning and Time Out

He is allowed one warning. "You are about to be in trouble." With a reason why.

Before one chore starts, they are allowed to ask for a time out. We both separate and we have to stay there for 10 minutes. This only works if we are at the boat. Out in public we sit separately. Time out is do nothing! Sit there. Usually this really helps to cool tempers and hurt feelings.

Tier 1- 1 Chore

The first tier of Task and Chores is 1 chore. I just pick a chore that needs to be done and they have to do it. Then they tell me what it was they did wrong, why it was wrong and what they will do to correct the behavior.

Tier 2- 1 Task/ 1 Chore

The second tier of Task and Chores is 1 task/ 1 chore. The first task to go is to empty the camping toilet. If there is one chore that is more humbling than all the others, it is to lug the families urine to the dump out station, pour it down the sewer hole and rinse the bucket (and shower afterward!) And then pick a chore followed by an explanation of what they did wrong, why it is wrong and then an apology if needed.

Their 3- 2 tasks/ 2 Chores and An Apron String

Next on the tier is 2 tasks, 2 chores. Same thing as 1 task/ 1 chore. With the ending of an explanation, and apology if needed. And they have to stay near mom for the next hour.

Tier 4- 3 Tasks/ 3 Chores and An Apron String

Next on the tier is 3 tasks, 3 chores. Same thing as 1 task/ 1 chore and they have to stay near mom for about 2 hours and write out the apology.

Reboot!

The next tier is Reboot. They have to go to bed and stay there. Which is a punishment they don't care for. It's not like the traditional "room" with bed, TV, dresser, closet, etc. It's a tunnel they crawl into. Imagine if your bed were your room. There was a tunnel over it and all your storage was under it. If you have a twin sized bed, it's bigger than the berths on the boat. They can't sit up in there. They can sit on the forward end of the bed (forward being "boat-ese") but that is it.

Consider This

Any parent who has a rebellious child should really consider sending them to live on a small boat so they can see how good they have it. Hopefully it will rain ONE day and we get stuck on the boat ALL DAY LONG! Oh that is fun. Oh darn, I'm dripping sarcasm. Let me clean that for you.

Better yet, leave the kids somewhere and come visit me. I have Irish whiskey :) Goes well in coffee.