Tattoos: Most Painful Places on Your Body

Although getting a tattoo has gained popularity in mainstream culture, there's still an underlying attitude that one has to be "tough enough" to get inked. My hubby Lance (aka Lubby) is one of those tattooed "tough guys" from way back, so I welcomed the chance for the two of us to work on a tattoo article together.

"Lub, " I said, "What are the five most painful places to get a tattoo?"

He said, "Where do you think?"

I, being the girlie-girl that I am, answered, "Along the lash line." He gave me a quizzical look so I said, "Remember Michelle did it? Because she didn't want to have to put eye liner on every day? And she wanted to wake up looking beautiful? She said it hurt."

"Yeah, but it wouldn't be as painful as the penis," he came back with.

"Who got their penis tattooed?" I challenged.

"Oh, my friend. He got a tattoo of a dollar bill on his penis. He always said his wife could stretch a buck."

"Very funny, Lub, but I'm doing some serious journalism here. Name names."

Well, he didn't have an answer for that, so he continued the list by saying, "The back of the neck is painful."

I agreed. Not that I would know first-hand, but being afraid of pain in general, I would avoid that. "What about the instep?"

"Yeah, that's a painful one," he agreed, "but the ankle is just as painful. And the chest."

OK, so I guess Lubby and Kay's Top 5 Most Painful Places to Get a Tattoo are the lash line, the penis, the back of the neck, the instep or ankle, and the chest.

Instead of asking Lubby the five least painful places to get a tattoo, I just looked at him at came up with four. Well, really only two, the top outer arm and the inner forearm. (On each side, so four.) Lub said the forearm is more painful than the top outer arm, so we already have numbers one and two on the least painful list.

He rounded out the list with the thigh, buttocks, and calf. "The meatier the area, the less it hurts", he said.

So Lubby and Kay's 5 Least Painful Places to Get a Tattoo are the top outer arm, inner forearm, thigh, buttocks, and calf.

I asked Lub what someone should do if they choose a spot on the least painful list and it still hurts.

"Tough it out," he said, "unless you want to look like a pansy walking around with a one-winged eagle on your arm."