Taxing, Tipping, and the Savage Cult of Entitlement

I consider myself a generous tipper. As a result, nothing irks me more than bad service. What's worse, since Quebec waiters have to declare their tips, we are conditioned to feel obligated to leave extra compensation. Failing to tip is one of this province's cardinal sins, right up there with non-maple pancake syrup and cheering for the Leafs. The fact is, the servers of this province feel entitled to a tip, regardless of the quality of their service.

Look, it sucks that our government taxes tips. On the other hand, it's Quebec: we're all over-taxed. I've worked in restaurants as a cook and believe me when I say that servers in this city are well compensated for their efforts. In most places, a waiter makes more money than the head chef. Significantly more. In this context, the tax burden faced by the servers of Quebec is not so unbearable that we the customer should be obligated to tip unconditionally. One might think that this goes without saying, but neglect to leave a tip for a server in a Montreal restaurant and watch what happens. The indignation! They may as well hang their sense of entitlement right next to their license to operate.

Of course, none of this would really matter if Quebec diners were regularly rewarded with good service. Sadly, this is not the case. Montreal has on average the lousiest service of any North American city that I have ever visited. Don't believe it? I challenge anyone to eat at ten restaurants in this city and get decent service from three. This makes our servers' demands for gratuity all the more sad and ironic. I'm no food critic, but I'm fairly certain these two adjectives should not define any aspect of the dining experience. Only in Montreal . . .

As a customer, I walk into a restaurant with the intention of leaving my waiter 20% on top of the bill. From then on, that percentage is docked based on unacknowledged infractions. It's like a cab meter going in reverse. Neglecting to refill my coffee without being asked because the place is full and you're "in the juice" won't affect your tip. Neglecting to refill my coffee because you're chatting with your sister Pam will. The little ways a waiter can screw up a service are too numerous to list here. Sometimes it really just comes down to friendliness and charm. If you're disinterested, or if the sound of the English language really pisses you off, or if you have the personality of a shoebox filled with concrete, don't expect a big tip. In fact, don't become a waiter.

In a harmonious economic system, the institute of tipping should weed out the weak servers and reward the strong ones. Instead, our system ensures that even the most terrible waiters are allowed to rake in the bonus cash. Fortunately, as an ex-kitchen employee, I've learned one invaluable lesson: how to cook at home.