Teachers Dealing with Difficult Parents

Difficult people are everywhere, the sooner you realize why they are being difficult the sooner you can try to come to more of an understanding of their behavior and attitudes.

One of the communication difficulties between teachers and parents is that they both are usually surprised to find out how different the child is in each different environment. That is usually why and when parents start to become difficult; because even though you are verbally telling them how Johnny or Susie is acting in class, they are confused if the behavior is different than what the child exhibits at home. Or sometimes you may see something as a positive in the child and the parents see it as a negative. For instance; a child is good in art, or writing, or theater, and yet the parents hold no value for those things in their views. Even though the parent seems to disagree with your assessment good or bad, it is really that they may be stuck in a holding pattern of how they want to see their children's behavior. When the children are in grade school it is actually only the first beginnings of having "outside influences and objective opinions", so the family may be a little touchy at first, but may just need some time to adjust to how much you can all work together for a good outcome.

Sometimes parents are just difficult because that is just who they are. I have seen parents brought in on discipline problems year after year on through high school; and the result is that this family may just have a dysfunctional script running in it and you really do not have a lot of power as far as the parent's outlook or discipline style is concerned. I have also felt the vacuum of the parents never showing up for any of the meetings, and it is quite sad. But, don't ever underestimate the power of being a good influence in children's lives, no matter how old they are; you may be making a difference at least to them! So, keep up the good work, your efforts/actions are not in vain.

It is crucial to have teachers and parents meeting with each other so that children know there are boundaries to be addressed and accountability. These structures are of great value in life and are important in any endeavors that come after leaving school. Even if the parents are difficult or unyielding the child may be the one person in the family to change that trend in their own lives; so it is important that teachers try to maintain these principals as best as they can.