Teaching Abstinence Will Never Work

A lot of parents and schools are pushing the idea of abstinence, but the way they're going about it, it's not likely to have the desired effect.

No matter what you do, teens are going to have sex. It's just a fact. Now, with proper education it is possible to get some teens to hold off until they're older, and some might even wait for marriage. However, the simple fact is that all teenagers have hormones, they're dealing with normal, natural desires, and they want to do something about them. Telling them not to and not explaining why is only going to make them want to know what the big deal is.

One of the biggest problems with teaching abstinence is the fact that many who use this method say that it's about love and God instead of telling the truth. Now, you should be in love with someone before having intercourse with them, but marriage isn't necessary. Some of the bigger problems with teen sex are pregnancy and disease, but many people fail to tell kids about that part.

You also have to keep in mind that many teenagers with their hormone filled bodies, think they're invincible and infallible. "I'll never get a disease!" "He/she said they're a virgin too, so it must be true." "I won't get pregnant!" Kids think they know everything. It's also a sad fact that a lot of girls these days think that it's cool to be a single parent and having a baby will make a guy love them. A lot of guys also think getting a girl pregnant isn't his problem, so why bother with a condom.

When attempting to teach teenagers why they shouldn't have sex until they're older, we need to give them all the details. 'Because I said so" or "Because it's an affront to God" isn't going to work on most kids. They have raging hormones and natural desires. They need to know why they should resist their urges, what the consequences will be if they don't, and what alternatives there might be. (This is why kids should be educated about masturbation. If they have a healthy release, it can ease the desire for sex.)

Telling kids that they just shouldn't have sex is about as wise as telling them to just say no to drugs and alcohol. You keep telling them how wrong it is and all they want to do is find out what all the fuss is about. I was a teenager once myself, and I know a lot of kids who tried drinking and drugs just to tick their parents off and rebel, and it became habit. There were lots of kids who had troubles because of drugs and drinking. Not to mention the high number of girls that got pregnant before they were even out of high school. Kids are smarter than parents think. If you give them real answers and unbiased information, they're a lot more likely to listen.

Another thing that has shown some promise is when schools give lifelike robotic baby dolls to students and make them take care of them for a period of time. Being forced to experience the reality of single parenthood can discourage a lot of kids from having sex before they're really ready, or will at least push them toward safe sex. In general, it would probably be wiser for educators and parents to teach safe sex practices in addition to the idea of abstinence. If they're going to have sex, they should know how to be safe.

More education should really be focused on teaching teens about safe sex and alternatives to sex like solo or mutual masturbation. It may sound horrid to a lot of conservatives, but if they can take care of their desires in ways other than intercourse, they'll be happier and safer. Sometimes I wonder is adults have forgotten those days when desire overwhelmed sense. The urges can't just be shut off until they're over 18 or married, no matter how badly some people wish they could be. There is no neutered-robot setting teens can turn on and leave on until they're old enough to really know what they're doing. That's what parents and sex ed classes are for.