Teaching Your Child Respect

Like any other life lesson, respect starts at home and it starts early. It must also also be a two-way street. Even before they say their first words, babies should be exposed to hearing please' and thank you' on a regular basis. Once they begin talking you can emphasize these words and train them into your child. Of course along with the words themselves, tone of voice is also very important as well as teaching polite gestures and other body language.(It's rude to read over someone's shoulder.' Can you stand there for just another minute while I finish this and then we can do what you want.') If your child has questions as to why they need to know how to be polite and show proper respect, you can explain to them how it's so much better to deal with someone who is behaving nicely. And doesn't it feel good to be nice?

These sound like simplistic lessons, but they are important building blocks for future communications. As your child grows, develops and becomes more independent, they will most likely push their limits and boundaries, becoming rude on occasion or otherwise breaking rules just to see if they can get away with it or to see how you react. Try not to despair that they may be unlearning what you've tried to teach them. Re-emphasize the lessons by doing your best to continue to be a good example and insist that they respond in kind.

When an argument becomes a control issue, it's time for both sides to walk away, cool off and rethink where they stand. Time-outs for both parties are another essential gesture of respect. Later, once both sides have calmed down, a mutual apology for yelling or otherwise allowing things to become heated should be made. You can then explain more calmly why things must be a certain way.

As parents, it's too easy to insist that you are the boss and that what you say goes no matter what. But on occasion it may be necessary to double-check your own reasons for butting heads with your child, especially as they enter their teens and begin the difficult advance to adulthood. It might even be possible that you are wrong' once in awhile or that your child may have an at least semi-valid point. Giving ground is not a sign of weakness it is showing your child that you are human and make mistakes, too. Finding this sort of common ground and openly sharing it with your child can help continue to build that bridge of mutual respect. You are also showing them that their thoughts and ideas have merit with you and that you respect them and their opinions.

So start early, repeat yourself often and be a good example. Don't be afraid to admit to your own mistakes. Allow yourself to truly listen to your child's ideas, even when you know their concepts are ill-informed or just outright wrong. Despite the rough years of pre-teen and teens, don't despair that your child has forgotten everything you've tried to teach them. As they step into their late teens and early twenties, the lessons of politeness and respect will start to show again. They might display this more often for other people than for you the parent, but those lessons will have sunk in and become a part of who your child is.