Teaching Children How to Cope With Pet Loss

One of the first major tests for children and family tragedy is learning how to cope with the death of a pet. No animal is too big or too small in which death should be taken lightly. Parents should refrain from trying to shield or protect children from knowing what death is all about. Children need to know that their little creature is gone and they should be allowed to grieve and say final goodbyes. It is sort of ironic that death is part of learning how to live!

When revealing the death of a pet to a youngster, it is best to avoid phrases such as "put to sleep" or is "now at rest". Using deep sleep terms will only confuse a child even further and also perhaps cause anxiety for children when they themselves are getting ready to turn in for the night. It is okay to tell children that the pet died or the animal needs to die (when dealing with euthanized situations due to pain and suffering). Most children will have a better time coping with the actual death of a pet as compared to witnessing severe pain and suffering of their beloved animals.

For those that are spiritual, coping with pet loss is a good way to introduce god's divine plan to your child. Explain that the time spent with the pet was a sign of God's love and the pet is much happier and pain free where it is now. Teach your child to pray for the departed pet and perhaps create a proper burial in the yard or memorialize the urn if the animal has been cremated. It might be worth having an informal funeral for kids to pay tribute to their departed friend. They can write on a card or sheet of paper what they loved most about their dog, cat, hamster or goldfish. Their fondness of the departed might be expressed in a story, poem, or even colorful drawings paying tribute.

It is recommended that those children severely grief stricken by pet loss know it is okay to cry and should do so without being ashamed. As a parent, you should not hide your own feelings of grief from children. They will see your sadness and perhaps pick up on your mood and surprisingly find a way to cheer you up during these tough times. If the child is still overwhelmed by pet loss, refrain from instantly replacing a deceased pet with a new one. That may actually compound the grief since family might feel guilt and sadness over trying to replace a loved one. It is better to go to the library or bookstore and pick out a book or two about losing a family pet. Read it aloud to your child or allow them to read it aloud and feel free to discuss the story or even any questions your children may have about dying.