Teaching Kids Manners: Advice on How it Can Be Done

Everyone appreciates a kid with good manners. That is why teaching kids manners is so important. In restaurants, church or even in the grocery store, there are kids who are out of control. They are loud, and obnoxious. They talk back to their parents, and throw temper tantrums when they don't get what they want. I hate to say it, but 90% of the time kids behave this way, because that is how they learned to behave, from their parents! It is up to us, as adults to teach good manners to our children.

Children watch everything we do and they learn from it. Do you say "please" and "thank-you"? Do you sit quietly in church, or whisper to your spouse? Do you yell at the cars on the road? How do you talk to your child? Parent modeling is the best way to teach good manners to your kids. You can't be rude to your children and then expect them to be polite to other people.

Teaching kids manners needs to start as early as possible because it does not take long for them to develop who they are going to be. As children get older they begin to notice other people's feelings on their own. If they don't then just be honest with them. Let them know that their words can hurt people's feelings and if they treat their friends badly they may not not want to be friends with them anymore. If they are polite to their friends' parents (say "Thanks for having me over" and use their nice words "please" and "thank-you")then they'll be more likely to be invited back to play.

You need to be specific with kids when teaching them manners. Before you go to Grandma's remind them to use their nice words when they get there. Tell them to keep their food on their plate and to chew with their mouths closed. Remember that kids don't know what is right or wrong until you teach them. You can't simply tell them to "act nicely" you have to TEACH them what nicely is.

Modeling and teaching are important when teaching kids manners, but praise is also very important. When you see your child using good manners, tell him what a great job he is doing. "I like the way you told Grandma 'thank-you' when she gave you some milk." Or "I think you made Grandpa feel good when you gave him that gift." Let them know what they are doing well. The praise will make your child feel good and they will want more praise, which in turn will make them use more good manners.

You don't have to be a parent to teach good manners. Most children instictively want to make grown-ups happy. If you see a child at the store, using good manners, tell him what a great job he is doing. It will make him feel good to have a stranger notice his good manners and he'll be more likely to do it again. Kids thrive on praise, so hand it out whenever you can.

Teaching kids manners should be right up on top of things we teach them. It is one of the most important things you can do for your child to help them develop and grow into the responsible, polite and respectful adult they are going to be. Remember to model good behavior for them. If we try as adults to be more polite and that teaches our kids to be more polite, then everyone is benefiting!