Teaching Kids to Show Respect is Just Plain Good Manners

Good manners are not something someone is just born with. Respect for others and the actual act of showing that respect is something that must be learned. The sooner this training or teaching begins, the easier and more deeply embedded it is. So the best time to begin teaching good manners is as soon as a child learns to talk.

Children learn by what they see and hear. If they hear a parent say thank you often, it will become normal for them to do so also. Parents can encourage their child to say thank you as soon as they learn to speak. I have seen young toddlers delight in reaching their parent article after article just to hear the parent say "thank you" over and over. To a young child, hearing Mommy or Daddy say something over and over in a happy voice is fun.

That's the secret to teaching. You have to make it fun and interesting. By making it a game in the beginning, you teach them the words and what they mean. And by making it an early habit, you've taken the very important first step in insuring that your child will have good manners.

The rest of teaching good manners and showing respect is a hands-on, continuous training role. And it's a very important role, not only to your child, but to you as well. Because your child's good or bad manners does reflect on you as a parent, especially when the child is young. Teaching a child to be polite and respectful is an excellent demonstration of a parent's success.

By gently, but firmly, correcting your child when he or she does wrong and by instructing them on the proper etiquette, you are educating your child in good manners. However, you should explain to a child why their behavior is wrong or why they should show respect and good manners. Just telling them to do so doesn't instill the reasoning behind the good manners. Children have a "why" complex. They want to know why they have to do or say something.

Of course, we all know that in the ever changing world, even parenting techniques change. In the baby boomer days, a spanking or punishment for being disrespectful or doing wrong was not only common, it was generally expected. We often heard dads say, "If you get a spanking at school, you'll get another when you get home." And we all watched Opie Taylor and Beaver Cleaver worry about the trouble they would be in for doing something they shouldn't have. But we never saw either of them be impolite or disrespectful to their elders. They just simply weren't raised that way.

Our children, who are today's parents, may have slightly different parenting ideas and methods, but they still want to instill good manners in their children. Although they may not believe in spanking, they know there must be a reaction to every action. Quite simply, if the child misbehaves, there will be consequences. Whether this is time out, or a loss of privileges, it is still a means to an end. The end being a child who knows right from wrong; a child who knows how to be polite and respectful.

Just remember, good manners is not something that is learned overnight. It is a gradual learning process for the child and a continuous teaching role for the parent.. However, It is one of those things that most parents don't spend a lot of time thinking about. It just comes naturally. Like when someone gives your child a cookie and you automatically tell him, "Say thank you." You might not think your child is paying attention until the first time you overhear him say "thank you" or "excuse me" to someone without you instructing him to. Or maybe a teacher or some other grownup comments on how polite your child is. That's when you swell up with pride and remark "That's my boy!" because not only has your child received a compliment, so have you.