Teaching Your Toddler to Say Sorry

Vanessa Bartlemus

Learning to say sorry is an important part of growing up, and the toddler years include many instances where an apology is required. From spilling juice on his big sister's drawing to pushing another child on the playground, a toddler makes many mistakes and it's up to us adults to teach them how to fix them. Apologizing is about taking responsibility for your actions. You can teach this to your child through everyday experiences, play, and by setting an example yourself. Here are some tips on how to teach your toddler to say sorry.

Use Everyday Experiences

Lecturing your toddler on the importance of saying sorry when she does something wrong isn't going to help very much. Instead, one of the best ways to teach your child this is to use everyday experiences as teachable moments. If she colors on the walls, along with making her help you clean up a little, you should ask her to apologize to you for what she did. If she is running at the playground and steps on another kid's toes, bring her over to the other child and ask her to say sorry and give him a hug.

Teach During Playtime

While playing together one day, my two year old daughter made one of her toys kick another one. I said, "Uh oh...farmer, say sorry to Aurora." And she made her farmer toy say sorry and give Aurora a hug. Simple, yet effective. You can even create situations while playing dolls or house. For an older toddler, you can ask her what should happen and have her tell the doll or toy that it should apologize.

Set a Good Example

No matter how much you teach your toddler about saying sorry for her mistakes, if you don't do so yourself, you run the risk of your child doing the same. Doing so also carries the benefit of showing your child that you admit you make mistakes sometimes, and that doing so is only human. Like many moms, I have a bad day every once in a while where I get mad at my daughter easily over small things. I always make sure to say sorry to her afterwards and give her a hug. By saying sorry when I do something wrong to her, I'm hoping she'll do the same with me.

A Few Final Tips

As with most things while teaching young children, don't be too pushy with your toddler because you don't want him to start being resentful or feel like it's a chore to say sorry. When he gets older, you can be more adamant in your requirements for behavior. If you feel like your toddler is just saying sorry to make you happy, rather than saying it because he really means it, make sure to talk a little (at an age-appropriate level) about why he should say sorry. Finally, make sure to ask siblings or other kids to say sorry too when they do something wrong to your toddler.

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Published by Vanessa Bartlemus - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle

Vanessa Bartlemus has a B.A. in Journalism and Psychology. She has been published on Associated Content, Yahoo! Shine, Yahoo! News, ehow.com, Helium.com, and Orato.com. She is the mother of a sweet little 3...  View profile

3 Comments

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  • Jacquelyn L. Holl9/22/2011

    Excellent information!

  • Debbie Dunn9/20/2011

    Vanessa, those sound like some really good suggestions. I love the idea of having the toddler getting his or her toys to apologize to each other.

  • Betty Asphy9/6/2011

    I agree.

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