Teaching My Wife About Personal Finance

At the time my wife and I met, we were very close to opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to our outlooks on personal finance and spending. It wasn't that my wife was deeply in debt or spent excessively, but she took much less interest in her finances than I did, and certainly was not as concerned as I about spending money or planning for our financial future.

Frankly, this lack of caring bothered me, and I knew just how important being able to agree on money matters is to maintain a good relationship. So I set about not necessarily to convert her completely to my views, because some of her ideas about money actually help to balance my views quite well, but rather to make certain modifications and adjustments to her outlook and mentality that would put us if not on the same page, at least in the same book when it came to our personal finances.

Starting Slowly

Rome wasn't built in a day, and pressuring someone or forcing them into taking up your attitude upon a certain subject often ends up backfiring and pushing them further away from where you want them to be. Therefore, I took my wife's financial education process slowly, pointing out certain financial facts or tactics, flipping on CNBC occasionally when she was present, and showing her examples of how certain decisions we made could affect our personal finances both in the short and long term.

It wasn't as if I was forcing the stuff down her throat, but she knew I was interested in money and finance. As with many relationships that weather the test of time, she was at first willing to go along with my "craziness" about money, giving in to many of my money saving techniques and attitudes due to the mutual respect we had built for one another. Eventually she began to see the light and even to start seeing things my way when it came to money.

Explaining Goals and Aspirations

When you're saving money like a miser or scrimping a dollar here and there, people often don't always understand why you are pushing yourself so hard, or denying yourself self-gratification. But if you explain why you're doing these things, and what your goals are for your financial future, these same people may have a better understanding of why you are doing what you're doing.

At first, my wife didn't really get my logic for working so hard to save money. She often questioned whether I was taking it too far or not allowing myself to enjoy life enough (and at times I tended to agree). So I decided to share some of my goals with her.

At first, my goal was for us to be able to retire by the time we were 40. However, my wife likes her job and didn't really see a need to retire so early, which was good to discover because it altered my long term plans. At that point, I decided that if she wanted to continue working, I might be able to explore work options other than a typical 9-5 job. This is when I decided to work toward one day being able to quit my day job and try my hand at writing. At the time, we were working in Indianapolis, and my career move would not only help us getting back to Chicago, where she wanted to be, but help us to have our first child since I would be able to stay home and care for him.

By opening our minds to one another and discussing our personal financial goals together, we were able to get on the same page and develop a plan that worked for both of us. Communication greatly enhances my ability to develop my wife's personal finance skills as she works to develop my ability to go out, let loose, and have a little fun once in a while.

Continuing Education and Motivation

But communication, education and motivation don't end with just explaining goals to one another and leaving it at that. Watching shows like "The Suze Orman Show" or "'Til Debt Do Us Part" -- shows that are entertaining, yet informative and not overly complex -- can help her (and yes, even me) learn a thing or two occasionally, yet they also bolster my wife's confidence by showing her just how many people know so much less about personal finance than she does. Seeing the often ridiculously large debt holes into which people dig themselves and the terrible ways in which they spend (or waste) their money, makes both of us feel better and shows us what not to do. Plus, it's a nice way to spend some quality time together and is cost effective entertainment as well.

I also like to try to prepare her for the unexpected when it comes to our finances. This often takes place over dinner when we've run out of things to talk about or on car rides to the store. I'll ask my wife questions or put scenarios to her in which she is left upon her own to make a financial decision or we encounter a situation we've yet to experience that could greatly affect our finances.

Questions such as:

What if I died and you were suddenly left to organize our estate?

What if the house burned down?

What if the house was burglarized?

What if you lost your job?

These types of questions are an interesting way to pass time and help us prepare for unexpected situations so that if or when they occur, we are ready. Such activities make me feel more confident that if something were to happen to me, my wife would be properly prepared to take over and handle our personal finances, which provides both of us with peace of mind.

More from this contributor:
Teaching Your Children About Personal Finance
Money Saving Fun and Games
Single Couples' Estate Planning

Disclaimer: The author is not a licensed financial professional. The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. For financial advice, readers should consult a licensed financial advisor. Any action taken by the reader due to the information provided in this article is solely at the reader's discretion.