Tear Stained Eyes

In November 2006 I saw Cool Hand Luke. There's a famous quote that has come from that movie in which the warden says "What we have here is a failure to communicate." This is what causes discord between people, the "failure to communicate." I am guilty of doing it many times. I have done it to two people here on myspace. I would rather not speak to you than to say what's bothering me...not a good thing to do...sometimes. When I feel that I have done something to someone and I care enough about them I will ask what I have done or said and try to correct the situation. Most of the time it works. Where it doesn't work is when the other person tells you everything is cool and I haven't done anything.

'I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you" Nietzsche

There are two things in this world I cannot tolerate and that's stupidity and lies...bold face lies. We all tell little lies here and there but to bold face lie is something totally different. As kids we've told bold face lies to our parents. It was our job and it was their job to find out the truth and then beat the crap out of us. But as we get older we are supposed to know better because now the feelings of others are invovled.

I have been told by others that they have been burned by people and thus would never do it anyone because they remember how they felt when it happened to them. I have learned how untrue those words are. And I am still learning how untrue those words are.

"And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, ''I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?'' Nietzsche

When I was forming friendships, rather, trying to form friendships of late, I have sacrificed a great deal of myself to do so. I go back to the days of innocence when friendships meant something to people even if it was in the beginning stages. That innocence is quickly shattered by the quickness and boldness of the lies told to one another. But I have learned its not a lie until the truth is told to you. On 18 November 2006 a lie was told to me, but I didn't think it was a lie until truth reared its ugly head a few days later.

I tried with all my might to find justification for the lie. I would be satisfied with my findings for a brief moment until I realized that its not the liar I am kidding but myself and in doing so I am cheating myself of pride.

The lie that was told has now turned into two lies and none of them from me.

I have heard this symphony so many times that I hear it before the conductor takes to the podium. However, I will never allow the symphony to be played ever again. A lesson well taught is a lesson well learned.

"The secret of life is to appreciate the pleasure of being terribly, terribly deceived." Oscar Wilde