Teen Dating and Domestic Violence

No one should have to worry about domestic violence. There's no way a teenager should ever have to put up with any type of violence while dating. In fact, there is no place for domestic violence. Domestic violence is the worst type of violence. It is the worst because it is carried out by someone the person trusted, someone they thought cared for them. Any person who is a victim of domestic violence should run away from the perpetrator as fast, and I repeat, as fast, as they can. Because as the posters say, "Love doesn't have to hurt."

Unfortunately, domestic violence appears to be a vicious cycle. A child grows up in a home where the father beat the mother. He is more likely to engage in violence against his girlfriend or wife than a child who grows up with a father who never hits his wife. And just as frightening, a young girl who grows up in that same violent home is more likely to become a victim of domestic violence. It's like she sees it happening to her mother, so it must be normal. She thinks it's just part of a relationship. But it isn't.

Teenage girls need to learn to recognize the early signs of a potential violent partner. Obsessive jealousy is one of the major red flags girls should watch for. Any date who starts to accuse a girl of flirting or paying too much attention to someone else, especially in the beginning of a relationship, is acting in an obsessive manner. Some girls may think the jealousy is sweet, but that feeling will change quickly. Jealousy is an ugly thing. And generally, a jealous partner will only get worse. Jealousy is based on insecurity. The partner feels insecure, therefore he tries to control his partner with threats and or violence.

Parents also need to watch for signs that their child is involved in a violent relationship. Always insist on meeting any person your child dates and watch for any changes in your child's behavior. Does she act or talk differently when the date is around? Does she try to pacify or keep him from getting upset? And if your child ever comes in with a bruise, make sure you find out how it happened. And don't always count on your teen admitting to any violent treatment. Victims of domestic violence often defend their abuser. They may try to justify their behavior. Parents need to talk to their children and make sure they understand domestic violence is wrong and cannot be tolerated. No person has the right to hit another person.

Stress to your teen that if she is dating someone who displays the signs of an abuser, RUN, don't walk, away. Teen dating is a time for fun and excitement. It is a time for young people to fall in love, sometimes twice a month. Teen dating should never be a time of fear or worries about a violent partner.