Teen Dating Relationship Pit Falls

In today's day and age, violence is everywhere. It's in the movies we watch, and the movies we let our kids watch. It's in the newspaper, the news, and even in the cartoons. This violence has always been around, but in today's world it's not slap stick violence, or cartoonish violence where everyone is ok. On the contrary, the violence is reality and when people get hurt you see every graphic piece of it. The worst of this violence is violence against women. This type of maltreatment of women runs rampant through television's programming. A shove here, a pull there, a fist over there, and a full beating and rape on that channel; it's everywhere.

So it's easy for kids to get desensitized to violence. They can even begin to think that this violence is ok. It's just something they have to deal with. What is happening is that these students (our children) are learning that things happening to them is just something that they have to accept. Therefore, when they see a violent relationship on the TV, and then they watch their parents fight, well that's just the way it is. These kids have to expect to get treated like that too. That's the wrong view for our children. They need to be educated about what's right and what's wrong.

If a young person is dating and their boyfriend/girlfriend begins to say "I love you" very early in the relationship, is very jealous, blames others for their behavior, or doesn't treat the opposite sex or their parents with disrespect. These are big signs that this relationship they are in very well might become abusive. It usually begins pretty mild with a push or screaming in someone's face. Then comes another push, a pull, restraining them from leaving (even when the parent is calling), then comes the full beatings. Once a person who desires that level of power and control they don't just stop there.

The small pushing, slapping, or yelling were just the preliminary rounds. Then the person will begin isolating them from their family, control what they wear, what they do & whom they see. This abuse becomes so pervasive that it will take over the victim's entire life. But the child, who has grown to see this as normal, will not see anything out of the ordinary. This will be what they feel they deserve. This will be what they feel is a normal relationship. If this goes on long enough name calling, put downs, animal cruelty, mood swings, intimidation, and even keeping them away from everyone will become common place. They might even begin seeing this as a way that the other person loves them.

It is true that this abusive behavior is indicative of boys or male gender people, but that's not completely true either. Women are learning and reacting to this type of violence and realizing they have the ability to be in control as well. They have the ability to use these same tactics.

We have to begin educating our children about what is a good relationship and a bad relationship. These are the signs of a bad relationship and our kids are beginning to see these things as normal. The world media has decided that these are acceptable to show on mainstream TV and thereby makes it a normal thing. We as parents and adults need to teach them that these are signs of bad couplings.