Teen Parents: Just Say No!

Today's parenting seems much different from my upbringing. I try to raise my teens by teaching them life values, self respect, and the value of money as well as teach them how to be respectful to others. Of course at one point in their lives, outside of the school's sex education class, I had to have the talk about abstaining from sex. I do not depend on what the school is teaching.

There are shows on the television about teens pregnant at 16, raising a baby at such a young age and the struggle to do what is best as a young parent. It's a huge struggle to raise a child, work, go to college, and put food on the table while watching your child grow into a young adult. We as parents need to do all we can to prevent our children from having sex at such a young age. The number one point to get across to your child is the consequences. What can happen if your child became pregnant? How will it affect her life? How will she take care of a newborn baby? How can she complete her schooling or go to college? Will the father be around to support and care for the child?

After that discussion, another thing to talk about is goals. What are your goals in life? What would you like to become after graduating? Do you want to go to college or join the military? What about a technical school? Keep their minds on the things the future holds and remind them of the consequences of each action while an adolescent.

One instance that I have encountered was a young teenager of divorced parents, at the age of 14, posting pictures on a social networking site of herself and her boyfriend kissing, laying in bed, him on top of her in her room! What is her boyfriend doing at her house? Where are the parents? Why is this being allowed? I find it disgusting. I remember when my dad had his talk with me about boys he made it clear that if any boy ever touched me he would kill him. I'm sure I wouldn't have gotten out of the situation very easy either! After the many talks with my dad I was sure to never have a boyfriend while under his roof!

The divorced dad of the teenage girl was too afraid to say anything because he thought she'd get mad at him. And who is the parent? The mother of the girl was a friend on her social networking page so it was pretty evident that she saw the photos and knew what was going on. Again, not a word said. Finally, one day the dad saw a picture that he disapproved of completely on the daughter's page and called the ex-wife. Instead of relaying how much the picture upset him and how much he disapproved of his daughter being sexually active at such a young age, he only said that he wants the pictures removed because his dad, mother, brother or sister may seem them. Never once did he say he disapproved of what his daughter was doing. Maybe he was too afraid to stand up for what was right because his ex-wife might yell at him? In this situation it sounds like there are no parents!

So the next question is, would you allow your teenage girl to have a boy over and in her room? Would you allow them to be kissing in your house or laying in bed together? One photo looked like the daughter had just woken up . . . and yes, the boyfriend was in the bed too. Does this say to the teenage girl, because neither parent will say a word, that it is okay to be sexually active at such a young age? I'm sorry parents, but it is not okay and if you see your child doing something outside of what you would allow, you need to say something! The mother's excuse was, "Well, she's a teenager. They were just wrestling."

Now that's an old excuse! By coming up with excuses you are not protecting your child. You are hurting your child. Quit passing things off as, "Well, she's a teenager." I don't think teenagers know what being a teenager is really about. They need to go to school, study to be successful in the future, do their chores and enjoy their young age because it's off to college and the workforce. Some parents do not even make their kids do chores. How will they ever learn responsibility?

My point is not to offend any who have tried their hardest as parents to keep their teens responsible or successful but somehow failed. Each situation is different. My point is that when you have the chance to say no about something that you disagree with, you need to do so. It could be that one last no that changes your child's life forever. Whether it's a change that prevents pregnancy, stealing, fighting, joining a gang, hanging out with the wrong crowd, or the first drug they inject or ingest, essentially it is you as the parent who needs to guide them down the right path. It's your responsibility.

For all of you dads out there that are separated from your child due to divorce, remember one thing: You are still their dad. Speak up!