Teen Pregnancy: Is It the Parent's Fault?

"Don't have sex!" "Wear a condom" are usually the only phrases many parents offer their teens as a means of caution towards avoiding teen pregnancy. It is noted that two of the reasons the teen pregnancy rate in America has soared are because of the lack of enforced sex education, and poverty, well; I say it is because of the lack of emotional support and openness in a parent- teen relationship. Many working parents, single parents, very strict parents, and parents that don't want to bud too deep into their teen's personal life often become grandparents before their children reach 16.

The reason for teen pregnancy is not just the lack of available sex education it's the lack of healthy, receptive, parent- teen relationship. Maintaining a strong, positive, and open relationship with your teen is essential in building the teen's confidence, (the strength of your teen's confidence will factor in on their future important decision making, (like Sex). The more open and receptive a parent is to their teen the easier it will be for them to come and talk about personal problems, (many young girls would rather ask their mothers personal questions rather than ask their friends as do teen boys) but if the parent teen relationship is not close, the teen will feel very uncomfortable and ashamed to approach the parent. This is especially true if the parent is very hostile and sarcastically opinionated. Openness also allows the space for trust and understanding between the teen and parent.. Teens may seem very detached and from their parents to the point that it seems as though they never want the parents near them but just like the toddlers they once were they too crave for attention, and if they do not receive the right amount of love, support, and attention from the parent(s) they will rebel, think lowly of themselves, and seek love and approval in other places, young girls usually seek attention, love, and support in controlling, or abusive, relationships with young boys or even older men ,which can lead to teen pregnancy. It is important to give your estranged teenager love, support, and attention because it gives the teen a sense of belonging and it also shows them that they are still important to you.

Many parents believe that if they don't talk about sex, teenage pregnancy won't happen, and other parents will not even bring up the subject of pre marital sex, because it is taboo to their culture or religion. Both of these approaches are not the best way to tackle the prevention of teen pregnancy. The answer to the prevention of teen pregnancy lies in the actions and hearts of the parents. Parents must take the time to bond with their teens, to talk to them, to listen, to teach them. Sex education should be given to teens from the ones who love them. Parents can't just throw a few words to caution a teen or give them a pamphlet and expect them to not have sex. Whether a child is raised strictly, religiously, or not, they will eventually become curious with sex, as this is human nature and it should not be suppressed, by parents in fact, when sexuality or sexual feelings are suppressed it too can cause rebellion which leads to risqué behavior which could then lead to teen pregnancy. Sex education in school should not be the only source of information provided and given to teens and children, the parents must also personally teach their children along with the sex education in school. It is also true too that some teens would rather learn about sex with their friends, but that should not stop a parent from discussing sex with their child Again the closeness of the teen-parent relationship will determine the teens comfortableness, and eagerness to learn about sex from the parent..

Single parents should not have to deny an open relationship with their child/teen because of their work schedule. Teens in single parent households actually need more attention than the teens in two parent households. So it is important as a single parent to sit down and talk to your child each day, and to slowly introduce the topic of sex to them when you feel that they are ready. Working parents and strict parents should do the same. When your teen comes to you asking about sex you should never turn away, or yell at them, if you do they will never trust you, and they will feel uncomfortable talking to you, and will most likely end up making hasty decision. The teen whose parent suggests that they go to the clinic for birth control is less likely to becomea teen parent as opposed to the teen whose parents forbid all discussions on sex...

Ten Noted Causes of Teen Pregnancy

1. "Living in a disadvantaged community "

2, "Sexual abuse"

3. "Race/Ethnicity"

1. "Thinking that peers are sexually active"

2. "Emotional distress"

3. "Single parent family"

4. "Other risk-taking, like substance abuse"

5. "Poverty"

6. "Dysfunctional family"

7. "Early School failure"

Ten of My Beliefs on Why Teen Pregnancy Exists

1. Very strict parenting with lack of close relationship

2. Very limited parenting with lack of close relationship

3. Lack of emotional support and understanding from parents

4. Sex education only in schools and not in homes with parents

5. Lack of structured environment

6. Parent has lack of information on safe sex.

8. Low self esteem derived from lack of attention, love, and support from parent

9. Feelings of self worthlessness

10. Lack of sense of belonging, and guidance

Tips for Bringing up the Sex question, and preventing teen pregnancy;

If you start connecting with your child at a young age, the easier and more comfortable it will be to bring up the topic of sex.

1 .Have frequent girls night out with daughter. (Even if they don't want it)

If they seem very miserable with the night out cut it a little short, but don't give up, start the night off with stuff that your teen/child likes to do, and then have a quiet dinner where the two of you could talk about anything (girl stuff.)

2. Have frequent boys night out with son (even if they don't want it) also have a quiet dinner and discuss (boy stuff)

3. Talk to your child everyday so that they will see that you are interested in their life.

4. It is important to teach your children to be comfortable with their bodies early on, you should teach them to love themselves, and to never be ashamed or embarrassed to talk to you about anything.

5. Try to relate in your conversation with your teen meaning, tell them stories of past experiences you had with the big sex question, or with puberty, or anything. The moment you do this, your teen will see that you are opening yourself up and that you are not judging them, but accepting them. They will see that you once too were in a similar position and that it is normal.

6. Always have time to talk to your child, never be too busy for the busy teen, this shows that they can emotionally depend on you and that they are relevant to you...

7. Give your teen pamphlets on safe sex; give the boys condoms, if they are already active. Offer to take your young daughter to the clinic for birth control.

8. Urge your kids to use protection even if they feel they are in love, or if their partner does not want them to, tell them this frequently.

9. Alert them that boys and girls lie about being in love and are really interested in having intercourse.

10. Teach them that virginity is a very special thing, and that the decision to have sex is a very big move, often life threatening.

**** It will be much easier for a teen to feel comfortable about you asking if birth control or condoms are needed if you talk to them about sex earlier on. In many cases, parents just pop the question of needing protection without ever having talked about sex before, leaving the teen to feel very, very uncomfortable. Parents must create that supportive, open relationship with their child which is the key to preventing teen pregnancy.

In some cases though young teens actually want to have children, These teens are usually oblivious to the dedication, and financial necessity it takes to raise a child, they often think being a parent is "cute," if you have a teen like this let them meet a teen mother or father, or see if they can volunteer at a daycare, even let them baby sit (supervised) full time for 5 straight (whole) days and nights in the summer. This should give them a very strong sense on what parenting is actually like.

Quotations on reasons for pregnancy (1-7) are from;

http://www.sanantonio.gov/projectworth/causes.asp?res=1024&ver=true

Quotations on reasons for pregnancy (8-10) are from;

http://golfound.com/teen_pregnancy.htm