Teen Runaways
A Parent's Nightmare
Four years ago, we never imagined our daughter would run away either. Yet she did, three times over a period of six months. Her reason was that we didn't like her boyfriend. Not that we said she couldn't date him, only that we didn't like him and thought she could do better. Eventually she discovered we were right. Today, four years later, we look back on that time period and can laugh.
What follows is a list of steps you can use to find your child. The first few paragraphs cover the basics of what you need before your child runs, even if you don't think they will. You should have this anyway, just so you can be prepared for anything that might happen.
If you haven't already done so, take your teenager to the local Department of Motor Vehicles (or where ever driver's licenses are issued) and get a photo ID of your teen. Make photocopies of this ID immediately and put them away in a safe place.
Get digital pictures of your child. If you don't have a digital camera or a scanner, most photo development places offer pictures on disk. Get Them. Update these pictures often, making sure to have them dressed in seasonal clothing.
Make your teenager fill out a phone list of their friends. Tell them you need phone numbers, cell phone numbers, email addy's and even screen names for online chatting. If you've heard a name mentioned by your child, make sure that name is on the list.
In this age of Internet predators, know what your child is doing online. No teenager should have Internet access in the privacy of their bedroom. Have your Internet access available only on a computer in a busy part of the house.
IF THEY RUN
Using the phone list, call every one of your teenagers friends. Talk to their parents first, not the friend. Teenagers tend to stick together and will not always tell you the truth. The parents will tell you if they've heard their child talking to yours on the phone and it will also alert them to watch for what their child is doing.
Make up one-page flyers that have a clear picture of your child's face and all information you have. Height, weight, age, last seen, etc.
Go straight to the local authorities, be it police station or sheriff's office. Take with you the flyers you have made up, a copy of the id, color pictures and digital pictures on a floppy. Get in their faces. Do not just make phone calls, be there in person. Drive them nuts until they do something. Make them understand that you are a concerned parent and that you will not let them ignore the fact that YOUR child is missing.
Make sure they list your runaway in the national database.
Post your flyers everywhere kids meet. Phone booths, soda machines, local hangouts, grocery stores, anywhere and everywhere that will let you.
When you get home, call your local paper and ask if they will run a description and picture of your child. Tell them you will either bring them a flyer or email the information. Whichever option they prefer. Beg if you have to.
Call your local television stations. Many today are more than willing to run stories on missing teens since so many have been lured from home by 'friends' they met online.
Also check any local weeklies and online community papers; they are usually more than willing to help.
Call your local Juvenile Detention Officer and ask for their help in finding out your rights concerning what you may or may not do if you find your child yourself.
Make sure you follow up and stay in touch with parents and the police. They are your best bet in finding your child and bringing them home.
Published by Kat Yares
Kat Yares is a full time freelance writer living in the backwoods of the Arkansas Ozarks. Her fiction and non-fiction has appeared both online and in print. More about Kat can be found at http://www.katyare... View profile
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22 Comments
Post a CommentLet me tell you something kids. That is is exactly what you are too is a kid. Us parents see to everything you have or need. So yeah we have a say in what you do and where you go and with who! You guys have no clue unless you wind up raped or killed! Family is all you have in this life. You want to ruin your life then go right ahead,but you will not ruin ours.
A parent who cares.
Parents over react to everything. Thats why teens run away.To the parents of run away teens:
You are only technically a real teen from age 15-19. That's four years to screw up and have fun with out you smothering us and breathing down our necks. So take it from a teen, stop freaking out about the littlest lie and give your damn kid some room to make mistakes.
I have a 14 yrold daughter that ranaway back in december of 2009.I have gone to the police and reported her missing and they are not doing anything to help find her. I have spent many days looking for her. This is not the first time that she ranaway. what I am a fraid of is that she maybe being held or that she is no longer with us. I would love to have her back at home.
If i get a comment within the week it would help, and you might hear about this one on the news cuz its going to be reeely good.;)
Dear people who thought they knew me,
I'm not as stupid as you all think i am. i have connections. I have a life, i want to live. To the researchers who look for me ha ha ha good luck! You wish you could be me. when life wont change, you change life and change it all at once. Pull away quick like a bandaid. when you cant breath, your life is at stake, so find a way to breath. Get out or stick it out. i would prefer the former.
My parents never trusted me, how can i earn trust that has a price tag of impossible?
If your a junior i highschool is it right for your parents to take away your money including debt card, and make you sleep on their bedroom floor when they are upset at u? can they tell you that you cant get out and they will call the police if you do? What if the only place you can go is school home and church?
Trust is given to my teenager until it is broken and then it has to be earned. If she wants to be treated like an adult, then she will first have to behave like one. We don't have alot of rules in our house but the ones we do have need to be respected reguardless of age or whether she holds a job or not. We have always respected her privacy and given her all the love and support we have to offer. Our kids and their well-being come first always... We were informed by the school that our 17 year old daughter had been skipping school and is now failing two classes. She was kicked off the tennis team soon after and has lost our trust at home as well. We have had to take her Jeep, phone, and now her bank card. All this to skip school with her new found girl friend who is 19 and would be a third year senior but is now dropped out of school. After taking my daughters car and phone as a cosequence for skipping and failing, she decided to runaway and buy a new cell phone that overdrafted her ch
what that person alice said above is smart, about parents needing to learn to trust their kids, and not freak out and become overbearing and invasive, which only pushes away because it becomes to overwhelming with their lives. it is completely true that teens are trying to form their own identity and need at least some space to learn and grow. the best way to handle teens is to be supportive, let them know you are there for them. having some patience and understanding will go a long way. its ok to be the parents and a friend a the same time, parents need to learn to create a balance between the 2.
man ... I just want to know how to find my niece! I want to know what is wrong so we can fix it .
This is really rediculous. I am a 15 male and I have run away once. The reason I ran away was because of things like this. My parents felt they needed full control and knowledge over my every action, causing me to try and push them away as much as I could. And seeing as they would not leave the house I lived in, the only solution was to leave myself. The funny thing is, the things they thought I was "in to" that they were so afraid of, I wasn't even doing. They were paranoied over nothing and fueled my hatred (yes, hatred) towards them. For no reason.
And what they were doing was almost as bad as the stuff you're talking about here.